Dear Nurse Dave,
Is it ever okay to be a jerk? Are there situations where being a jerk is not only called for but important?
Ed, Sims, AL
I was actually recently pondering this due to a situation where a local grocery store tried to charge me more for hotdogs than I should have been charged. When the clerk would not believe that I'd been overcharged I switched into jerk mode. I think this befuddled the man and he ended up giving some of the hotdogs to me for free. I felt a satisfaction but also a guilt. Should I have been mean to this poorly educated man and should I really have been buying 5 packages of hot dogs?
I think there are situations where being a jerk can be an advantage to you. Cutting in line. Complaining at a restaurant thereby getting a free meal or at least a free desert. Badgering the poor uneducated guy at the grocery store regarding hotdogs. Moving in on the girl that your roommate was interested in. Ignoring the phone call from someone that is going to want you to do something. These are all areas where being a jerk can be an advantage but I'd argue that none of them are really okay. Is a piece of pie really worth demeaning a waiter? I guess it depends on the pie.
Really I don't think you're going to find a situation where its okay. In the end after you act like a jerk you're just going to wish you'd handled the situation in a more mature manner. I mean the girl was pretty and she wasn't even interested in my roommate but I probably could have talked to him first.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Friday, December 9, 2011
Rollerblading?
Dear Nurse Dave,
I'm thinking about bringing back rollerblading. What are your thoughts?
Grayson 'Set It & Forget It' Weeks
Logan, UT
Honestly Grayson, I'm not sure I'm ready for it. The pure awesomeness that was and is rollerblading may be too much for me. I got my first pair of blades when I was 12 or so and naturally that led to street hockey which naturally led to the kind of gang activity portrayed in the film Rollerboys. I'm not sure I'm ready for that kind of dystopian future. Sure we can of course thank rollerblading for the development of the knuckle puck, a hockey shot so raw and powerful that it only could have been developed on the streets. But we also have to thank rollerblading for the 2002 remake of Rollerball. I'm just not sure we can trust humanity with something as powerful as rollerblades. I think that the government should have outlawed rollerblades much like they outlawed the production of hoverboards. Haven't we learned that some things just need to be kept out of the reach of the common man?
So yes I think it would be awesome for rollerblading to come back but am I ready for it? No, I'm not and I'm not sure the world is either.
I'm thinking about bringing back rollerblading. What are your thoughts?
Grayson 'Set It & Forget It' Weeks
Logan, UT
Honestly Grayson, I'm not sure I'm ready for it. The pure awesomeness that was and is rollerblading may be too much for me. I got my first pair of blades when I was 12 or so and naturally that led to street hockey which naturally led to the kind of gang activity portrayed in the film Rollerboys. I'm not sure I'm ready for that kind of dystopian future. Sure we can of course thank rollerblading for the development of the knuckle puck, a hockey shot so raw and powerful that it only could have been developed on the streets. But we also have to thank rollerblading for the 2002 remake of Rollerball. I'm just not sure we can trust humanity with something as powerful as rollerblades. I think that the government should have outlawed rollerblades much like they outlawed the production of hoverboards. Haven't we learned that some things just need to be kept out of the reach of the common man?
So yes I think it would be awesome for rollerblading to come back but am I ready for it? No, I'm not and I'm not sure the world is either.
Circadian Rhythms
Dear Nurse Dave,
I hear that you are going to start working night shifts. Do you think that staying up all night will drive you slowly insane? If not do you think that could be a good plot for a Nicholas Cage movie?
Theo, New York, NY
Theo the body has a natural rhythm of sleep and wake cycles known as the circadian rhythm. It is commonly accepted that to disrupt this natural rhythm can have negative outcomes. I, of course, fear this disruption but I've got something else even more disturbing to fear. ICU psychosis. That's right I now work in an ICU and it is known to cause psychosis. Yesterday I went outside for a run and realized that was the first time I'd seen the sun in over 3 days. Causes of ICU psychosis include:
-sensory deprivation (I can't really use the internet at work)
-sleep disturbance (night shift is 7pm to 7am)
-continuous light levels (the light is always the same level of dull light that you might associate with the bathroom of a cheap movie theatre)
-stress (in the ICU nurses titrate medication drips that if improperly or poorly managed could kill somebody)
-lack of orientation (not seeing the sun ever).
The psychosis can manifest itself as extreme excitement, anxiety, restlessness, hearing voices, clouding of consciousness, hallucinations, nightmares, paranoia, disorientation,agitation, delusions, abnormal behavior,fluctuating level of consciousness which include aggressive or passive behavior. If that doesn't sound like an awesome Nicholas Cage movie than I don't know what does.
For further information on the disruption of circadian rhythms and the slow growing melancholy that will eventually destroy you, listen to this.
I hear that you are going to start working night shifts. Do you think that staying up all night will drive you slowly insane? If not do you think that could be a good plot for a Nicholas Cage movie?
Theo, New York, NY
Theo the body has a natural rhythm of sleep and wake cycles known as the circadian rhythm. It is commonly accepted that to disrupt this natural rhythm can have negative outcomes. I, of course, fear this disruption but I've got something else even more disturbing to fear. ICU psychosis. That's right I now work in an ICU and it is known to cause psychosis. Yesterday I went outside for a run and realized that was the first time I'd seen the sun in over 3 days. Causes of ICU psychosis include:
-sensory deprivation (I can't really use the internet at work)
-sleep disturbance (night shift is 7pm to 7am)
-continuous light levels (the light is always the same level of dull light that you might associate with the bathroom of a cheap movie theatre)
-stress (in the ICU nurses titrate medication drips that if improperly or poorly managed could kill somebody)
-lack of orientation (not seeing the sun ever).
The psychosis can manifest itself as extreme excitement, anxiety, restlessness, hearing voices, clouding of consciousness, hallucinations, nightmares, paranoia, disorientation,agitation, delusions, abnormal behavior,fluctuating level of consciousness which include aggressive or passive behavior. If that doesn't sound like an awesome Nicholas Cage movie than I don't know what does.
For further information on the disruption of circadian rhythms and the slow growing melancholy that will eventually destroy you, listen to this.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Black or Brown Shoes?
Dear Nurse Dave,
Should I wear the blacks shoes or the brown shoes?
David, Nashville, TN
First listen to this song. Now think about what look you're trying to go for. Black shoes = professional, tight pants, college educated, efficient, shoe shine, yogurt eating, probably shops at the GAP, well groomed hair, interested in the girl with the cool hair, purple tie, listens to hip hop. While brown shoes = might have gone to college but probably got a degree in something useless (English), full head of hair but not well combed, disorganized but still gets the job done, prefers smoothies, well read in subjects that don't matter, closet has at least one hawiian shirt, listens to folk music.
If this is for an interview go with the black shoes. If this is just daily life you've got to go brown.
Should I wear the blacks shoes or the brown shoes?
David, Nashville, TN
First listen to this song. Now think about what look you're trying to go for. Black shoes = professional, tight pants, college educated, efficient, shoe shine, yogurt eating, probably shops at the GAP, well groomed hair, interested in the girl with the cool hair, purple tie, listens to hip hop. While brown shoes = might have gone to college but probably got a degree in something useless (English), full head of hair but not well combed, disorganized but still gets the job done, prefers smoothies, well read in subjects that don't matter, closet has at least one hawiian shirt, listens to folk music.
If this is for an interview go with the black shoes. If this is just daily life you've got to go brown.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Fear
Dear Nurse Dave,
What do you think I should fear?
Paul, East Brunswick NJ
There's a lot of things that would could be afraid of or worry about. There's Parkinson's Disease. It can destroy the nervous system and leave you with little ability to act for yourself. The disease can do this quickly or take a long time. There's heart disease. Your coronary arteries can become so clogged that the muscle of your heart is no longer provided with the oxygen it needs. Apparently that hurts and can kill you.
Or maybe you want to fear germs and bacteria. Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus is powerful staph infection that can't be treated by standard antibiotics. C-diff can infect you GI tract and give you explosive diahrea. These germs and just hanging out anywhere you go Paul.
Or maybe you want to fear politics. Listen to Fox News, Obama is intentionally trying to destroy the country. Watch MSNBC and learn how republicans want to tax only poor people. Look at the international stuff Paul. Greece's financial situation could cause the downfall of all of Europe.
Perhaps you want to fear illegal immigrants, or maybe fear getting a tumor from using your cell phone, maybe you should be afraid of never finding a good job, maybe you should worry about the demise of social security, or carbon monoxide in your home, what about global warming, overfishing the oceans, the demise of bookstores, high fructose corn syrup, roundup ready crops, paying too much for a bad haircut, finding true love, we could go all day Paul.
There's much you could fear so just pick something a move ahead. Good luck Paul.
What do you think I should fear?
Paul, East Brunswick NJ
There's a lot of things that would could be afraid of or worry about. There's Parkinson's Disease. It can destroy the nervous system and leave you with little ability to act for yourself. The disease can do this quickly or take a long time. There's heart disease. Your coronary arteries can become so clogged that the muscle of your heart is no longer provided with the oxygen it needs. Apparently that hurts and can kill you.
Or maybe you want to fear germs and bacteria. Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus is powerful staph infection that can't be treated by standard antibiotics. C-diff can infect you GI tract and give you explosive diahrea. These germs and just hanging out anywhere you go Paul.
Or maybe you want to fear politics. Listen to Fox News, Obama is intentionally trying to destroy the country. Watch MSNBC and learn how republicans want to tax only poor people. Look at the international stuff Paul. Greece's financial situation could cause the downfall of all of Europe.
Perhaps you want to fear illegal immigrants, or maybe fear getting a tumor from using your cell phone, maybe you should be afraid of never finding a good job, maybe you should worry about the demise of social security, or carbon monoxide in your home, what about global warming, overfishing the oceans, the demise of bookstores, high fructose corn syrup, roundup ready crops, paying too much for a bad haircut, finding true love, we could go all day Paul.
There's much you could fear so just pick something a move ahead. Good luck Paul.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Trey
Dear Nurse Dave,
I think the kids are getting back into the 80's right now. Are the 90's next? Should I get a bowl cut to be a step ahead of the trends? I'm very interested in being cool.
Trey, Kingwood, TX
I think your name alone gives you a leg up on the rest of us. Look at this list of Treys, everyone a winner. So I think the first thing you got to do to be cool is rely more heavily on your name. Maybe wear a t-shirt that says "my name is trey" or perhaps a belt buckle that simply says trey. Those two things alone buy you a lot of cred.
As for haircuts if you want to go 90's skip the bowl cut and go for the David Silver. Its the right move.
Other cool tips from me would include
1) Become an expert on something somewhat obscure and then talk about it a lot (I do this with science fiction novels but don't steal my subject)
2) It's only okay to admit that you want to be cool if you are already cool and just admitting it out of mock humility (its also good to talk about how you didn't have friends in high school this shows people that high school kids just weren't ready for your particular brand of coolness, this works well for me)
3) Chew gum. Cool guys chew gum. (i go through 1-2 packs a week)
4) Get very interested in the Fast and Furious movies but do it in such a way that people can never tell if you really like the movies or not
5) Lift weights
Finally remember you can never be ahead of the trends. You have to set your own trends.
I think the kids are getting back into the 80's right now. Are the 90's next? Should I get a bowl cut to be a step ahead of the trends? I'm very interested in being cool.
Trey, Kingwood, TX
I think your name alone gives you a leg up on the rest of us. Look at this list of Treys, everyone a winner. So I think the first thing you got to do to be cool is rely more heavily on your name. Maybe wear a t-shirt that says "my name is trey" or perhaps a belt buckle that simply says trey. Those two things alone buy you a lot of cred.
As for haircuts if you want to go 90's skip the bowl cut and go for the David Silver. Its the right move.
Other cool tips from me would include
1) Become an expert on something somewhat obscure and then talk about it a lot (I do this with science fiction novels but don't steal my subject)
2) It's only okay to admit that you want to be cool if you are already cool and just admitting it out of mock humility (its also good to talk about how you didn't have friends in high school this shows people that high school kids just weren't ready for your particular brand of coolness, this works well for me)
3) Chew gum. Cool guys chew gum. (i go through 1-2 packs a week)
4) Get very interested in the Fast and Furious movies but do it in such a way that people can never tell if you really like the movies or not
5) Lift weights
Finally remember you can never be ahead of the trends. You have to set your own trends.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
IBS?
Dear Nurse Dave,
I think I've got some irritable bowel stuff happening. What should I do? Also what should I be for halloween?
Sam, Los Angeles, CA
You probably want to go see a GI doctor about the irritable bowel stuff. Its hard to know what's wrong without knowing your symptoms. You can try some dietary changes such as eliminating milk or gluten and see if that helps. Or try to avoid caffeine (caffeine makes diarrhea worse). Basically if you've got a serious issue going on down there you're going to need a colonoscopy to really figure out what's going on. In a colonoscopy a doctor goes into your GI tract (through your rectum) with a camera and takes a look at what's going on. You'll be awake during the procedure but you'll be drugged so that you don't remember it. Good luck!
As for what should be for halloween I would focus on obscure pop culture references. If you have two other friends and a baby at your disposal you really need to consider three men and a baby. Other Steve Guttenberg roles to consider would be Cocoon, Police Academy 1-4 and whatever this is.
If Steve Guttenberg doesn't get it done for you maybe the lizard guy from the Last Starfighter. That could be a very impressive outfit. My final suggestion would be Raiden from Mortal Kombat.
I think I've got some irritable bowel stuff happening. What should I do? Also what should I be for halloween?
Sam, Los Angeles, CA
You probably want to go see a GI doctor about the irritable bowel stuff. Its hard to know what's wrong without knowing your symptoms. You can try some dietary changes such as eliminating milk or gluten and see if that helps. Or try to avoid caffeine (caffeine makes diarrhea worse). Basically if you've got a serious issue going on down there you're going to need a colonoscopy to really figure out what's going on. In a colonoscopy a doctor goes into your GI tract (through your rectum) with a camera and takes a look at what's going on. You'll be awake during the procedure but you'll be drugged so that you don't remember it. Good luck!
As for what should be for halloween I would focus on obscure pop culture references. If you have two other friends and a baby at your disposal you really need to consider three men and a baby. Other Steve Guttenberg roles to consider would be Cocoon, Police Academy 1-4 and whatever this is.
If Steve Guttenberg doesn't get it done for you maybe the lizard guy from the Last Starfighter. That could be a very impressive outfit. My final suggestion would be Raiden from Mortal Kombat.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Disturbing
Dear Nurse Dave,
What's the most disturbing thing you've heard in the last little while?
Carl, Knoxville TN
I don't want to go into details Carl because it frightens me a little to think about it. Lets just say it involves a handgun and a sexually transmitted disease.
What's the most disturbing thing you've heard in the last little while?
Carl, Knoxville TN
I don't want to go into details Carl because it frightens me a little to think about it. Lets just say it involves a handgun and a sexually transmitted disease.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Healing and Music
Dear Nurse Dave,
I have heard that music can have healing powers. What are some songs that you would recommend for curing the following diseases:
Chronic fatigue
Diarrhea/Bowel disorders
Migraine headaches
Common cold
Spencer, Chicago, IL
Music can be very powerful. I think we've all felt times in our lives when a song lifted us to be able to do something that normally would not have been possible. I don't think music actually grants some power but rather enables us to harness power within us that usually lies dormant. So of course music can heal. It taps into our own natural abilities and produces powerful results.
Chronic Fatigue - I think there's two ways to go here. A high energy song to grant the energy that the sufferer desperately needs or a really mellow song that finally allows the sufferer to achieve the relaxation they so desperately want. Ideally you relax first and then energize second. To build up perhaps the most powerful energy you could ever experience I'd go with Thunder Road (a tip: when Bruce suggests that you roll down the window and the let wind blow back your hair you should really do it). For ultimate relaxation I'd go with nightswimming. Or just go with this one
Diarrhea/Bowel disorders - You don't want to be to excited here. You want a song that builds slowly but has a satisfying conclusion. If the song only builds and never finishes then you may end up with constipation. Its the satisfying conclusion that is so important. I'm going with Built to Spill on this one.
Migraine Headaches - Jeff Tweedy enables you to actually enter a migraine headache with Less Than you Think. Unfortunately You-tube cuts off the final ten minutes of migraine simulating white noise. Naturally the cure for a migraine would have to be the next song on the album. The Late Greats. If anyone understands how to heal a migraine it has to be Tweedy.
Common Cold - Sorry spencer there isn't actually a musical cure for the common cold. So much of music and life is about suffering. To even understand why we have music you must have some degree of discomfort in your life. Some of us have headaches, social awkwardness, eczema to teach us this. But all of us have to have the common cold. At the very least we all can connect with each other here. So the thing to do is just listen to some good music, keep moving forward and buy some soft kleenex. Or if you don't buy that you could try listening to the Cure, but believe me when I say that results of doing that are quite mixed.
I have heard that music can have healing powers. What are some songs that you would recommend for curing the following diseases:
Chronic fatigue
Diarrhea/Bowel disorders
Migraine headaches
Common cold
Spencer, Chicago, IL
Music can be very powerful. I think we've all felt times in our lives when a song lifted us to be able to do something that normally would not have been possible. I don't think music actually grants some power but rather enables us to harness power within us that usually lies dormant. So of course music can heal. It taps into our own natural abilities and produces powerful results.
Chronic Fatigue - I think there's two ways to go here. A high energy song to grant the energy that the sufferer desperately needs or a really mellow song that finally allows the sufferer to achieve the relaxation they so desperately want. Ideally you relax first and then energize second. To build up perhaps the most powerful energy you could ever experience I'd go with Thunder Road (a tip: when Bruce suggests that you roll down the window and the let wind blow back your hair you should really do it). For ultimate relaxation I'd go with nightswimming. Or just go with this one
Diarrhea/Bowel disorders - You don't want to be to excited here. You want a song that builds slowly but has a satisfying conclusion. If the song only builds and never finishes then you may end up with constipation. Its the satisfying conclusion that is so important. I'm going with Built to Spill on this one.
Migraine Headaches - Jeff Tweedy enables you to actually enter a migraine headache with Less Than you Think. Unfortunately You-tube cuts off the final ten minutes of migraine simulating white noise. Naturally the cure for a migraine would have to be the next song on the album. The Late Greats. If anyone understands how to heal a migraine it has to be Tweedy.
Common Cold - Sorry spencer there isn't actually a musical cure for the common cold. So much of music and life is about suffering. To even understand why we have music you must have some degree of discomfort in your life. Some of us have headaches, social awkwardness, eczema to teach us this. But all of us have to have the common cold. At the very least we all can connect with each other here. So the thing to do is just listen to some good music, keep moving forward and buy some soft kleenex. Or if you don't buy that you could try listening to the Cure, but believe me when I say that results of doing that are quite mixed.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Antibiotics?
Dear Nurse Dave,
I recently was prescribed some antibiotics that gave me wicked diarrhea. What's up with that? Also, why is it that people are always saying to eat yogurt when you are on antibiotics--or is it after you get off? I'm thinking these two things might be related.
Agatha, West Chester, PA
Thanks for the health related question. It seems like a lot of recent questions have forgot about the "Nurse" in Ask Nurse Dave. The answer involves living in harmony with microorganisms.
We as humans live symbiotically with billions of bacteria and microorganisms in our bodies. We have a mutually beneficial relationship where we provide nutrients for bacteria and the bacteria provide stuff like vitamins and protection from other bacteria for us. I would compare it to Rocky teaming up with Apollo Creed to defeat Clubber Lang. Rocky could never have done it alone. He needed Apollo to help him find his heart.
This teaming up of ourselves and bacteria can be thrown off in a number of ways. Issues with our immune system can let usually friendly bacteria get out of hand and cause infection. Sometimes outside bacteria or viruses can get in a wreck havoc. Also antibiotics can mess with the system. Antibiotics are used to fight bacterial infection but sometimes the antibiotics can also destroy our bacteria friends like the ones in your GI tract, causing wicked diarrhea. Some yogurts are thought to be probiotics. They help to replace necessary bacteria, building the team back up and letting our digestion return to normal. So eat some yogurt and you'll be having solid bowel movements in no time.
I recently was prescribed some antibiotics that gave me wicked diarrhea. What's up with that? Also, why is it that people are always saying to eat yogurt when you are on antibiotics--or is it after you get off? I'm thinking these two things might be related.
Agatha, West Chester, PA
Thanks for the health related question. It seems like a lot of recent questions have forgot about the "Nurse" in Ask Nurse Dave. The answer involves living in harmony with microorganisms.
We as humans live symbiotically with billions of bacteria and microorganisms in our bodies. We have a mutually beneficial relationship where we provide nutrients for bacteria and the bacteria provide stuff like vitamins and protection from other bacteria for us. I would compare it to Rocky teaming up with Apollo Creed to defeat Clubber Lang. Rocky could never have done it alone. He needed Apollo to help him find his heart.
This teaming up of ourselves and bacteria can be thrown off in a number of ways. Issues with our immune system can let usually friendly bacteria get out of hand and cause infection. Sometimes outside bacteria or viruses can get in a wreck havoc. Also antibiotics can mess with the system. Antibiotics are used to fight bacterial infection but sometimes the antibiotics can also destroy our bacteria friends like the ones in your GI tract, causing wicked diarrhea. Some yogurts are thought to be probiotics. They help to replace necessary bacteria, building the team back up and letting our digestion return to normal. So eat some yogurt and you'll be having solid bowel movements in no time.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Expendable?
Dear Nurse Dave,
Of all the Expendables, I can't help but wonder which, if any, could be considered the Least Expendable?
Grayson, (i think he lives in Utah)
Let's go through this man by man. I think you may be surprised by the results.
Couture (demolitions expert) - An MMA fighter with limited acting ability. If the only thing we had to thank him for was the soundtrack to this montage of his fights we would have a lot to thank him for. His limited acting ability does however make him expendable.
Crews (weapons specialist) - He's the guy that was in some of those old spice commercials. Unfortunately he's not even the best old spice advertising guy (this guy is). That makes him pretty expendable.
Li (martial artist) - I don't know if I've really seen anything he's done. I think he does Jackie Chan like movies except they don't have comedy. I like my martial artists to come with a sense of humor. He's very expendable.
Lundgren (sniper, he didn't make the picture for some reason) - Although he's only really know for one character in his cinema career that character is pretty awesome. The thing is though that to be not expendable you have to be able to take that character and place the exact same character into dozens of successful movies (much like the next guy on our list).
Stallone (team leader and all around badass) - Few other actors have found as much success with playing the same basic character in all of their movies. From Rocky to Rambo to Cliffhanger to Judge Dredd to Demolition Man to Over the Top to the Expendables Stallone is always playing Stallone and no one could possibly replace him. No other actor has given us the amazing amount of training montages. No other actor has shifted gears more often while listening to "No Easy Way Out." No other actor has given as many inspiring speeches. The man is a genius. So how is he not the least expendable of the expendables? I'll explain.
Statham (blades specialist) - Statham is the answer. He is the least expendable because he still has so much to offer us. Stallone has already given us 6 Rocky movies and 4 Rambos. Statham has only given us 3 Transporters and 2 Cranks. He's only given us one oil fight so far. There's a lot more in the tank. Look at his IMDB page. He's got 5 bad action movies coming out in the next year. This guy is going to churn out these movies for the next 20 years. What do we have left with Stallone? Expendables 2 maybe Expendables 3. Stallone is on the way out. Statham is just getting started. I'm willing to give up on Stallone because he's already given me so much. I just can't let Statham go before I get a transporter 4. There are still so many things that need transporting.
Of all the Expendables, I can't help but wonder which, if any, could be considered the Least Expendable?
Grayson, (i think he lives in Utah)
Let's go through this man by man. I think you may be surprised by the results.
Couture (demolitions expert) - An MMA fighter with limited acting ability. If the only thing we had to thank him for was the soundtrack to this montage of his fights we would have a lot to thank him for. His limited acting ability does however make him expendable.
Crews (weapons specialist) - He's the guy that was in some of those old spice commercials. Unfortunately he's not even the best old spice advertising guy (this guy is). That makes him pretty expendable.
Li (martial artist) - I don't know if I've really seen anything he's done. I think he does Jackie Chan like movies except they don't have comedy. I like my martial artists to come with a sense of humor. He's very expendable.
Lundgren (sniper, he didn't make the picture for some reason) - Although he's only really know for one character in his cinema career that character is pretty awesome. The thing is though that to be not expendable you have to be able to take that character and place the exact same character into dozens of successful movies (much like the next guy on our list).
Stallone (team leader and all around badass) - Few other actors have found as much success with playing the same basic character in all of their movies. From Rocky to Rambo to Cliffhanger to Judge Dredd to Demolition Man to Over the Top to the Expendables Stallone is always playing Stallone and no one could possibly replace him. No other actor has given us the amazing amount of training montages. No other actor has shifted gears more often while listening to "No Easy Way Out." No other actor has given as many inspiring speeches. The man is a genius. So how is he not the least expendable of the expendables? I'll explain.
Statham (blades specialist) - Statham is the answer. He is the least expendable because he still has so much to offer us. Stallone has already given us 6 Rocky movies and 4 Rambos. Statham has only given us 3 Transporters and 2 Cranks. He's only given us one oil fight so far. There's a lot more in the tank. Look at his IMDB page. He's got 5 bad action movies coming out in the next year. This guy is going to churn out these movies for the next 20 years. What do we have left with Stallone? Expendables 2 maybe Expendables 3. Stallone is on the way out. Statham is just getting started. I'm willing to give up on Stallone because he's already given me so much. I just can't let Statham go before I get a transporter 4. There are still so many things that need transporting.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Top 20 Blog For Nurses
Just wanted to let everyone know that Jacksonville University School of Nursing just selected my blog as one of the top twenty blogs for Nurses. That's from the entire internet. So competition was naturally pretty steep. I beat out Nurse Pat and from what I understand she's pretty upset about the whole thing.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Pimples?
Dear Nurse Dave,
Should I pop my zits or should I just leave them alone?
Paul, Duluth MN
Paul from my personal experience I generally pop the zits that are ready to go. I don't try to force the issue. I just make a basic assessment and if it is time to take care of the issue I do it. Sadly this continues to be an issue into my early thirties. I thought once you hit thirty there was moratorium on further skin problems. This is unfortunately incorrect.
But the real professional advice is to never pop a zit due to the fact that it can cause scarring or actually make the infection worse. Acne.com has this advice for the proper popping of a zit. They basically say don't pop the zit unless there's white showing and don't force the issue. Acne.com also recommends using a needle. I'm not going to say I agree with that particular advice. I knew a guy once with a bad zit that had the bright idea to use some needle he found to pop it. He of course didn't sterilize the needle ended up with a bad infection and grew a bad goatee to cover it up.
Really Paul, its about patience. The acne is going to clear up. If it doesn't go see a doctor. And if your thirty and still have acne I'm not sure what to tell you (really I don't know, let me know if you've got an answer).
Should I pop my zits or should I just leave them alone?
Paul, Duluth MN
Paul from my personal experience I generally pop the zits that are ready to go. I don't try to force the issue. I just make a basic assessment and if it is time to take care of the issue I do it. Sadly this continues to be an issue into my early thirties. I thought once you hit thirty there was moratorium on further skin problems. This is unfortunately incorrect.
But the real professional advice is to never pop a zit due to the fact that it can cause scarring or actually make the infection worse. Acne.com has this advice for the proper popping of a zit. They basically say don't pop the zit unless there's white showing and don't force the issue. Acne.com also recommends using a needle. I'm not going to say I agree with that particular advice. I knew a guy once with a bad zit that had the bright idea to use some needle he found to pop it. He of course didn't sterilize the needle ended up with a bad infection and grew a bad goatee to cover it up.
Really Paul, its about patience. The acne is going to clear up. If it doesn't go see a doctor. And if your thirty and still have acne I'm not sure what to tell you (really I don't know, let me know if you've got an answer).
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Anger
Dear Nurse Dave,
Why are some people so angry? What's going on?
Peter, Birmingham, England
First Peter we need to recognize that life isn't easy. I just spent a couple days spray painting an ikea bookshelf. It didn't seem like it'd be a problem but 15 cans of spray paint later the shelf still doesn't look nice and my right index finger has been numb for 24 hours. At various points during this project I've felt anger (especially as I was painting barefoot and ants started to bite my feet). In life even seemingly simple things can be difficult. This is where anger can build from.
So why is it that we as people allow silly things to make us angry? I'm not sure. It certainly isn't to our advantage. Is yelling at a waiter at a restaraunt going to get you better service? I'm going with no. I think these anger issues stem from some kind of development issues in our childhoods (my wife could probably elaborate). So rather than explain why people get angry I'm going to give some tips that will help you not get angry with silly things.
1) Listen to music more - The ant bites aren't so bad when listening to music. I was listening to this.
2) Find a creative outlet - Frustration comes slower to those with a focused outlet (maybe etch a sketch or maybe write a song).
3) Get a healthy physical outlet - Dance, running, boxing, just get out there and do it!
Good luck Peter.
Why are some people so angry? What's going on?
Peter, Birmingham, England
First Peter we need to recognize that life isn't easy. I just spent a couple days spray painting an ikea bookshelf. It didn't seem like it'd be a problem but 15 cans of spray paint later the shelf still doesn't look nice and my right index finger has been numb for 24 hours. At various points during this project I've felt anger (especially as I was painting barefoot and ants started to bite my feet). In life even seemingly simple things can be difficult. This is where anger can build from.
So why is it that we as people allow silly things to make us angry? I'm not sure. It certainly isn't to our advantage. Is yelling at a waiter at a restaraunt going to get you better service? I'm going with no. I think these anger issues stem from some kind of development issues in our childhoods (my wife could probably elaborate). So rather than explain why people get angry I'm going to give some tips that will help you not get angry with silly things.
1) Listen to music more - The ant bites aren't so bad when listening to music. I was listening to this.
2) Find a creative outlet - Frustration comes slower to those with a focused outlet (maybe etch a sketch or maybe write a song).
3) Get a healthy physical outlet - Dance, running, boxing, just get out there and do it!
Good luck Peter.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Mr. T.
Dear Nurse Dave,
What movies do you think could be significantly improved if Mr. T. was cast in one of the roles as opposed the actor that was cast?
Marty, West Chester, NY
Marty this is a very tricky question. Initially it seems like Mr. T. could improve almost any movie. Cast him as Russell Crowe's gladiator pal in Gladiator and it seems like you've suddenly got a more compelling film. The trouble is that Mr. T. has too much charisma and it is too easy for attention to be directed wholly at him. So the actual result of casting him in Gladiator could have been disastorous. How can Russell Crowe look tough when compared to Mr. T? It just isn't possible. So with some serious thinking I've got you're answers right here.
Night Court - I know it isn't a movie but if Mr. T. was the bailiff guy on Night Court rather than this guy how is that show not at least 50% more entertaining? Mr. T. is bringing everything to the table here. He's got the toughness needed in a security dude but he also has the comedy chops to really do something with the role.
Ghostbusters - Why couldn't Mr. T. have been the fourth Ghostbuster? What could go wrong there?
G.I. Joe - Rise of Cobra - He doesn't even have to replace someone in this movie. He just has to be in it. But if you were to replace someone I would go with the guy that played Duke.
Waterworld - He wouldn't replace Costner or Dennis Hopper that would be ridiculous to suggest. He'd replace the one bad guy with long blonde hair that Costner has to fight at some point. That's a fight I'd pay to see.
There's the list. There certainly could be more additions made to it but I feel pretty good about it. Sadly Mr. T.'s actual career is actually kind of disappointing so all we can really do is look back and wish it had turned out differently.
What movies do you think could be significantly improved if Mr. T. was cast in one of the roles as opposed the actor that was cast?
Marty, West Chester, NY
Marty this is a very tricky question. Initially it seems like Mr. T. could improve almost any movie. Cast him as Russell Crowe's gladiator pal in Gladiator and it seems like you've suddenly got a more compelling film. The trouble is that Mr. T. has too much charisma and it is too easy for attention to be directed wholly at him. So the actual result of casting him in Gladiator could have been disastorous. How can Russell Crowe look tough when compared to Mr. T? It just isn't possible. So with some serious thinking I've got you're answers right here.
Night Court - I know it isn't a movie but if Mr. T. was the bailiff guy on Night Court rather than this guy how is that show not at least 50% more entertaining? Mr. T. is bringing everything to the table here. He's got the toughness needed in a security dude but he also has the comedy chops to really do something with the role.
Ghostbusters - Why couldn't Mr. T. have been the fourth Ghostbuster? What could go wrong there?
G.I. Joe - Rise of Cobra - He doesn't even have to replace someone in this movie. He just has to be in it. But if you were to replace someone I would go with the guy that played Duke.
Waterworld - He wouldn't replace Costner or Dennis Hopper that would be ridiculous to suggest. He'd replace the one bad guy with long blonde hair that Costner has to fight at some point. That's a fight I'd pay to see.
There's the list. There certainly could be more additions made to it but I feel pretty good about it. Sadly Mr. T.'s actual career is actually kind of disappointing so all we can really do is look back and wish it had turned out differently.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Point Break
Dear Nurse Dave,
Can you explain the difference between Point Break and the Fast and the Furious? They just seem like exactly the same movie to me.
Bryce, Sugarloaf, UT
The plots are virtually identical and the performances of Paul Walker and Keanu Reeves could be traded and neither movie would lose anything. Other than the obvious difference between one movie being about surfing (the coolest possible thing in 1991) and one movie being about street racing (the coolest possible thing in 2001) the big difference is Diesel vs. Swayze.
Now at first thought you might think Diesel is way more awesome than Patrick Swayze but I'll invite you to look a little closer.
Height - 6 foot (really more like 5'10)
Best fight move - Creating an avalanche of snow and using it to destroy his opponents
Best Comedy Movie - The Pacifier (he babysits kids because of some FBI investigation or something)
Greatest Weakness - The second chin he developed for Fast 5
Awesomest Hair - Find Me Guilty
Greatest Singing Performance - Peter Panda
Real Name - Mark Sinclair Vincent
Height - 6 foot (really more like 5'10)
Best fight move - direct kick to the sternum
Best Comedy Movie - Father Hood (he babysits his own kids or something like that)
Greatest Weakness - Dirty Dancing
Awesomest Hair - Point Break
Greatest Singing Perfomance - She's Like the Wind
Real Name - Patrick Wayne Swayze
Its pretty close until you get to the singing performances and the hair. Swayze just straight up schools Diesel when it comes to song and when it comes to looking good. Swayze also schools Diesel when it comes to being the bad ass leader of a surf gang. Swayze leads with powerful charisma and hair, both of which Diesel sadly lacks. In the end the difference between Point Break and the Fast and the Furious is that Diesel acts tough while Swayze actually is tough. Sadly there never was a Point Break sequel we can at least take solace in the fact Fast Six will be out in 2013.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Phantom Limb
Dear Nurse Dave,
What's a phantom limb?
Julie, Samsburg, NH
What you are probably asking about is the sensation that amputees feel after an amputation. They still feel like there is a limb there and often can have harsh pain with that phantom limb. Falls can also be a problem because they may still think that they have that limb because it feels like they do. Patients are often given large amounts of narcotic pain killer to deal with phantom pains. But phantom pain should not be confused with phantom menace, although both have caused significant pain (for the record I really enjoyed the phantom menace).
But to take this concept further I think we all may have phantom limbs in our lives. That thing that still feels like its there but just isn't. For instance I keep looking in the fridge for milk but we've gone off lactose for the last week or so. The milk just isn't there.
Phantom limb is also a pretty good name for a song
What's a phantom limb?
Julie, Samsburg, NH
What you are probably asking about is the sensation that amputees feel after an amputation. They still feel like there is a limb there and often can have harsh pain with that phantom limb. Falls can also be a problem because they may still think that they have that limb because it feels like they do. Patients are often given large amounts of narcotic pain killer to deal with phantom pains. But phantom pain should not be confused with phantom menace, although both have caused significant pain (for the record I really enjoyed the phantom menace).
But to take this concept further I think we all may have phantom limbs in our lives. That thing that still feels like its there but just isn't. For instance I keep looking in the fridge for milk but we've gone off lactose for the last week or so. The milk just isn't there.
Phantom limb is also a pretty good name for a song
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Little Debbie
Dear Nurse Dave,
What's the best Little Debbie snack cake?
Marshall, Eastman, TX
Marshall, Little Debbie treats have thrilled people for generations and I, like most people, enjoy a fine snack cake now and again. And of the asorted cakes there are probably 6 that I'd put in the running for top snack
Swiss Cake Rolls - I'm not really sure what these are. Derek always ate them all.
Nutty Bars - Chocolate, peanut butter, crisp wafers and you can take it apart as you eat it.
Oatmeal Creme Pie - Remember that scene in Honey I Shrunk the Kids where they ate part of one but it was huge because they were so tiny?
Star Crunch - This one always sounded better than it actually was. It gets points for the awesome name.
Cosmic Brownie - For the person that likes brownies but thinks that brownies need sprinkles.
Zebra Cakes - I'm sorry the white frosting just doesn't work for me but the package design that hasn't changed since the 80's does work for me. Cartoon animals with sunglasses on are cool.
Clearly, Marshall, the winner here is the Nutty Bar. Anytime you put peanut butter and chocolate together good things are going to happen.
What's the best Little Debbie snack cake?
Marshall, Eastman, TX
Marshall, Little Debbie treats have thrilled people for generations and I, like most people, enjoy a fine snack cake now and again. And of the asorted cakes there are probably 6 that I'd put in the running for top snack
Swiss Cake Rolls - I'm not really sure what these are. Derek always ate them all.
Nutty Bars - Chocolate, peanut butter, crisp wafers and you can take it apart as you eat it.
Oatmeal Creme Pie - Remember that scene in Honey I Shrunk the Kids where they ate part of one but it was huge because they were so tiny?
Star Crunch - This one always sounded better than it actually was. It gets points for the awesome name.
Cosmic Brownie - For the person that likes brownies but thinks that brownies need sprinkles.
Zebra Cakes - I'm sorry the white frosting just doesn't work for me but the package design that hasn't changed since the 80's does work for me. Cartoon animals with sunglasses on are cool.
Clearly, Marshall, the winner here is the Nutty Bar. Anytime you put peanut butter and chocolate together good things are going to happen.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Beards
Dear Nurse Dave,
So are beards cool right now or have too many people grown them to the point where they are no longer cool or are beards just always cool?
Peter, Skegness, England
Hey Peter I got your answer right here. Robert Redford in Jeremiah Johnson.
Is there anything not cool about that beard? The answer is of course no. You need some more help? Here's Charleton Heston in Planet of the Apes.
So the answer is that beards are always awesome. Especially if you are starring in a movie in the late 1960's or early 1970's.
So are beards cool right now or have too many people grown them to the point where they are no longer cool or are beards just always cool?
Peter, Skegness, England
Hey Peter I got your answer right here. Robert Redford in Jeremiah Johnson.
Is there anything not cool about that beard? The answer is of course no. You need some more help? Here's Charleton Heston in Planet of the Apes.
So the answer is that beards are always awesome. Especially if you are starring in a movie in the late 1960's or early 1970's.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Bronies
Nurse Dave,
How do you feel about Bronies?
Butch
Elgin, Illinois
Uncomfortable, Butch. I feel somewhat uncomfortable. I understand being a fan of something strange or childish. I spent a couple hours in a comic store last week and spent an evening of gaming with some awesome guys (we played Glen More and Jaipur wouldn't recommend either of them that much but I would recommend this one). So I kind of know where these guys are coming from but on the other hand I really don't.
I think we've all been entertained by learning about some kind of weird subculture of fans doing something weird. There are people out there that are jousting. There's this guy doing awesome stuff with legos. My friend Janina is way into pies. I could just go on listing weird but somehow awesome subcultures. Here look at this list:
star wars guys
star trek guys (possibly more awesome than star wars guys)
rock climbers (I still don't like that one rock climber guy that made fun of me when I was climbing with him. He said I was having an Elvis shake when I got nervous)
people into bluegrass music
guys that like ABBA
people that collect records
antiquing people (antiquing is suprisingly interesting)
twilight people, Harry Potter people (essentially the same sort of people but I think most would deny this, in fact I'd deny it because I like Harry Potter)
people that make jewelry out of felt balls (that really happens)
people that go to bead stores
guys that get way into physics just for fun
people that like all that alien stuff
people that home brew their own rootbeer (someday this group will include me)
and of course people that like to swing dance (there's huge dance conventions for that kind of thing)
All of these people have filled some kind of whole in their lives or souls with a somewhat strange activity. In general I approve of this Butch. I like when people are actively involved in doing something I think is weird. It makes the world better. And maybe I feel uncomfortable with the idea of a man my age being interested in My Little Pony but I guess he could be doing something worse.
How do you feel about Bronies?
Butch
Elgin, Illinois
Uncomfortable, Butch. I feel somewhat uncomfortable. I understand being a fan of something strange or childish. I spent a couple hours in a comic store last week and spent an evening of gaming with some awesome guys (we played Glen More and Jaipur wouldn't recommend either of them that much but I would recommend this one). So I kind of know where these guys are coming from but on the other hand I really don't.
I think we've all been entertained by learning about some kind of weird subculture of fans doing something weird. There are people out there that are jousting. There's this guy doing awesome stuff with legos. My friend Janina is way into pies. I could just go on listing weird but somehow awesome subcultures. Here look at this list:
star wars guys
star trek guys (possibly more awesome than star wars guys)
rock climbers (I still don't like that one rock climber guy that made fun of me when I was climbing with him. He said I was having an Elvis shake when I got nervous)
people into bluegrass music
guys that like ABBA
people that collect records
antiquing people (antiquing is suprisingly interesting)
twilight people, Harry Potter people (essentially the same sort of people but I think most would deny this, in fact I'd deny it because I like Harry Potter)
people that make jewelry out of felt balls (that really happens)
people that go to bead stores
guys that get way into physics just for fun
people that like all that alien stuff
people that home brew their own rootbeer (someday this group will include me)
and of course people that like to swing dance (there's huge dance conventions for that kind of thing)
All of these people have filled some kind of whole in their lives or souls with a somewhat strange activity. In general I approve of this Butch. I like when people are actively involved in doing something I think is weird. It makes the world better. And maybe I feel uncomfortable with the idea of a man my age being interested in My Little Pony but I guess he could be doing something worse.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Suits?
Dear Nurse Dave,
What would happen if I started wearing a suit everywhere?
Love,
Grayson
Logan, UT
I'd say really, really good things would start happening. Let's look at a few case studies. Just before the Beatles became extremely popular they were way into wearing leather. Never really a good choice. Then someone, I like to think it was Ringo but I don't really know, suggested wearing suits and bam their career took off. Ed Sullivan never would have had them on in leather or jeans and a t-shirt. The Beatles had to class it up. That's what wearing a suit does. It classes things up.
Now let's take a look at James Bond. That guy is almost always wearing a tuxedo and he is almost always hanging in classy places. I don't think he could have gotten to know any of the sweet villains over the years if they didn't first think he was classy. Would Dr. No invite Bond out to his weird evil island if Bond wasn't wearing a tuxedo? I doubt it. Would Bond have gotten to meet Octopussy, Jaws, that bald guy, the guy that raced horses or any of those hot chicks without wearing a suit? I'm going to say the answer is no. If you don't think that's true just look at the Bourne movies. Jason Bourne is probably awesomer than James Bond but never wears a suit therefore he's not surrounded by hot chicks and crazy billionares. So my question to you Grayson is do you want to be surrounded by hot chicks and crazy billionares? If the answer is yes you've got to start wearing suits everywhere.
Finally two pictures of 11 year old me. One wearing a suit and one not. I think we all know which one looks classier and has a chance with the ladies.
What would happen if I started wearing a suit everywhere?
Love,
Grayson
Logan, UT
I'd say really, really good things would start happening. Let's look at a few case studies. Just before the Beatles became extremely popular they were way into wearing leather. Never really a good choice. Then someone, I like to think it was Ringo but I don't really know, suggested wearing suits and bam their career took off. Ed Sullivan never would have had them on in leather or jeans and a t-shirt. The Beatles had to class it up. That's what wearing a suit does. It classes things up.
Now let's take a look at James Bond. That guy is almost always wearing a tuxedo and he is almost always hanging in classy places. I don't think he could have gotten to know any of the sweet villains over the years if they didn't first think he was classy. Would Dr. No invite Bond out to his weird evil island if Bond wasn't wearing a tuxedo? I doubt it. Would Bond have gotten to meet Octopussy, Jaws, that bald guy, the guy that raced horses or any of those hot chicks without wearing a suit? I'm going to say the answer is no. If you don't think that's true just look at the Bourne movies. Jason Bourne is probably awesomer than James Bond but never wears a suit therefore he's not surrounded by hot chicks and crazy billionares. So my question to you Grayson is do you want to be surrounded by hot chicks and crazy billionares? If the answer is yes you've got to start wearing suits everywhere.
Finally two pictures of 11 year old me. One wearing a suit and one not. I think we all know which one looks classier and has a chance with the ladies.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Fiction?
Dear Nurse Dave,
What fiction books would you recommend I read in my spare time? (don't have much spare time, but I remember that u recommended a good book to me on the past)
Thx,
Natalie
Although fiction lies outside of the realm of my medical knowledge I do feel somewhat qualified to answer the question due to my reading experience. First although I've never read a Robin Cook book I believe most of them are medical thrillers. He's jokingly once said, "If my books don't sell at least I can fall back on brain surgery." Naturally that quote makes me dislike him and I vow to never read one of his books but someday when I start writing medical thrillers I plan to model my career after his closely.
Here's some books I really love. It probably isn't a very original list.
Literature - Anyone can read real literature and really enjoy it. There are books out there other than those by John Grisham.
White Noise - Don Delillo - Very funny book regarding colliegate education, an airborne toxic event and the fear of death (probably my favorite book ever)
The Crying of Lot 49 - Thomas Pynchon - One of his only understandable and readable books. Awesome conspiracy stuff happening
A Conferacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole - Maybe the greatest comedic character ever written.
Blood Meridian: the evening redness in the west - Cormac McCarthy - The judge is a very scary character. The whole book is scary.
Extremely loud and incredibly close - Jonathan Foer - Heartbreaking book about a little boy and 9/11
The Plot against America - Philip Roth - An alternate reality in WWII where jewish people in America get sent to camps.
also - Catch 22, the power and the glory,
Adventure
Master and Commander - Patrick O'brian - The whole series is awesome especially if you like the ocean and the navy. I do.
Gentlemen of the Road - Michael Chabon - I didn't know that there could be jewish swashbucklers.
Count of Monte Cristo - Alexander Dumas - The greatest adventure book ever written.
Science Fiction - Most people just assume that science fiction is for nerds but last night I explained the plot of a science fiction story to my wife and she was more than intrigued (she usually dislikes fantasy and sci fi due to her lack of ability to comprehend stuff like time travel).
The Foundation - Isaac Asimov
Do Androids dream of electric sleep - Philip K Dick
others include - Dune, the time machine, the postman, starship troopers
What fiction books would you recommend I read in my spare time? (don't have much spare time, but I remember that u recommended a good book to me on the past)
Thx,
Natalie
Although fiction lies outside of the realm of my medical knowledge I do feel somewhat qualified to answer the question due to my reading experience. First although I've never read a Robin Cook book I believe most of them are medical thrillers. He's jokingly once said, "If my books don't sell at least I can fall back on brain surgery." Naturally that quote makes me dislike him and I vow to never read one of his books but someday when I start writing medical thrillers I plan to model my career after his closely.
Here's some books I really love. It probably isn't a very original list.
Literature - Anyone can read real literature and really enjoy it. There are books out there other than those by John Grisham.
White Noise - Don Delillo - Very funny book regarding colliegate education, an airborne toxic event and the fear of death (probably my favorite book ever)
The Crying of Lot 49 - Thomas Pynchon - One of his only understandable and readable books. Awesome conspiracy stuff happening
A Conferacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole - Maybe the greatest comedic character ever written.
Blood Meridian: the evening redness in the west - Cormac McCarthy - The judge is a very scary character. The whole book is scary.
Extremely loud and incredibly close - Jonathan Foer - Heartbreaking book about a little boy and 9/11
The Plot against America - Philip Roth - An alternate reality in WWII where jewish people in America get sent to camps.
also - Catch 22, the power and the glory,
Adventure
Master and Commander - Patrick O'brian - The whole series is awesome especially if you like the ocean and the navy. I do.
Gentlemen of the Road - Michael Chabon - I didn't know that there could be jewish swashbucklers.
Count of Monte Cristo - Alexander Dumas - The greatest adventure book ever written.
Science Fiction - Most people just assume that science fiction is for nerds but last night I explained the plot of a science fiction story to my wife and she was more than intrigued (she usually dislikes fantasy and sci fi due to her lack of ability to comprehend stuff like time travel).
The Foundation - Isaac Asimov
Do Androids dream of electric sleep - Philip K Dick
others include - Dune, the time machine, the postman, starship troopers
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Punch
Dear Nurse Dave,
If you could punch somebody, I mean anybody and there would be no repercussions who would you punch?
Nico
Nico it seems like you probably have somebody in mind already. I'm not a big fan of physical confrontation. I almost punched a kid once. His name was Chad and I believe he had a mullet (but I don't think it was this guy). Fortunately my mother stopped the fight before he could really hurt me. Since then I've never really come close to punching a guy but my list would probably be something like this.
1. Tony Horton
2. Miss Piggy - Have you ever seen Muppet related thing? How could anyone think that Miss Piggy is funny? She just makes very angry
3. any English teenaged boy
4. Kevin Costner - I don't really want to punch Kevin but punching him would allow me to meet him, a lifelong dream.
If you could punch somebody, I mean anybody and there would be no repercussions who would you punch?
Nico
Nico it seems like you probably have somebody in mind already. I'm not a big fan of physical confrontation. I almost punched a kid once. His name was Chad and I believe he had a mullet (but I don't think it was this guy). Fortunately my mother stopped the fight before he could really hurt me. Since then I've never really come close to punching a guy but my list would probably be something like this.
1. Tony Horton
2. Miss Piggy - Have you ever seen Muppet related thing? How could anyone think that Miss Piggy is funny? She just makes very angry
3. any English teenaged boy
4. Kevin Costner - I don't really want to punch Kevin but punching him would allow me to meet him, a lifelong dream.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Dear Nurse Dave,
When am I gonna get mine?
Kyle, Humble, TX
My guess is that you are already getting yours right now Kyle. You may have heard of the Beatles before well they have a song where the final line is, "in the end the love you make is equal to the love you take." Kyle this line is pretty true. What you give is what you get. Each day you are actually getting yours. Sure things may work out easier for others and maybe that lottery ticket you bought didn't come out a winner but really the way you treat people will be how you are treated. Mr. T. once taught that you should Be somebody or be somebody's fool. You need to make that choice Kyle.
When am I gonna get mine?
Kyle, Humble, TX
My guess is that you are already getting yours right now Kyle. You may have heard of the Beatles before well they have a song where the final line is, "in the end the love you make is equal to the love you take." Kyle this line is pretty true. What you give is what you get. Each day you are actually getting yours. Sure things may work out easier for others and maybe that lottery ticket you bought didn't come out a winner but really the way you treat people will be how you are treated. Mr. T. once taught that you should Be somebody or be somebody's fool. You need to make that choice Kyle.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Quick Ones
So there's been a stockpile of questions building up and I'm going to pound out a few answers
Dear Nurse Dave,
Who would win in a fight between Rocky and Rambo?
Bruce, Asbury Park, NJ
Bruce the answer here is clearly Rambo. Has Rambo ever lost a fight? No. Has Rocky ever made it through a movie without losing either an emotional fight or real fight? No. Rocky entrusted all of his fortune to his moronic brother-in-law who naturally lost all of it. Would Rambo ever do something like that? Honestly I'm not sure I've never watched an entire Rambo but I'd like to think the answer is no. Rambo doesn't lose. He saves POWs. He hides in the woods and kills people or he gets a huge machine gun and kills people. Rocky has been a loser from the start that usually overcomes large odds to be a winner in the end while giving a few motivational speeches along the way. But you have to remember that he was a loser to start with.
Dear Nurse Dave,
I've been on two dates with a girl and its her birthday next week. What should I get her?
Carlton, Cincinnati, OH
Snow globe, Carlton. That is the answer every time. You have to go with a snow globe. If you don't want to buy one you could make one.
Dear Nurse Dave,
Please explain the show Happy Days to me.
Confused in Little Rock
I think I know where you're confused. Happy Days is a fictional television series set in the 1950s but it was actually filmed in the 1970s. The show wasn't simply a sitcom made in the 1950s it was a nostalgia filled look back at the 50's during the 70's. I'd compare it to That 70's Show being made in the 90's. Much of the humor in Happy days is based on the fact that everything involved a Malt shop in 50's and sadly the malt shop had fallen out of fashion by the 70's. Also something to keep in mind when trying to understand the show, the Fonz is supposed to be cool.
Dear Nurse Dave,
Is Little America really as awesome as all the billboards make it out to be?
Dwayne
Dwayne I think you're refering to that long stretch of I-80 in Wyoming with hundreds of billboards advertising for a hotel resort in the middle of nowhere. My answer is that they have 50 cent ice cream cones and that is pretty awesome. Go with the twist cone if you're going to get one. You need both chocolate and vanilla to really appreciate the experience. Also they have pretty nice bathrooms.
Dear Nurse Dave,
Who would win in a fight between Rocky and Rambo?
Bruce, Asbury Park, NJ
Bruce the answer here is clearly Rambo. Has Rambo ever lost a fight? No. Has Rocky ever made it through a movie without losing either an emotional fight or real fight? No. Rocky entrusted all of his fortune to his moronic brother-in-law who naturally lost all of it. Would Rambo ever do something like that? Honestly I'm not sure I've never watched an entire Rambo but I'd like to think the answer is no. Rambo doesn't lose. He saves POWs. He hides in the woods and kills people or he gets a huge machine gun and kills people. Rocky has been a loser from the start that usually overcomes large odds to be a winner in the end while giving a few motivational speeches along the way. But you have to remember that he was a loser to start with.
Dear Nurse Dave,
I've been on two dates with a girl and its her birthday next week. What should I get her?
Carlton, Cincinnati, OH
Snow globe, Carlton. That is the answer every time. You have to go with a snow globe. If you don't want to buy one you could make one.
Dear Nurse Dave,
Please explain the show Happy Days to me.
Confused in Little Rock
I think I know where you're confused. Happy Days is a fictional television series set in the 1950s but it was actually filmed in the 1970s. The show wasn't simply a sitcom made in the 1950s it was a nostalgia filled look back at the 50's during the 70's. I'd compare it to That 70's Show being made in the 90's. Much of the humor in Happy days is based on the fact that everything involved a Malt shop in 50's and sadly the malt shop had fallen out of fashion by the 70's. Also something to keep in mind when trying to understand the show, the Fonz is supposed to be cool.
Dear Nurse Dave,
Is Little America really as awesome as all the billboards make it out to be?
Dwayne
Dwayne I think you're refering to that long stretch of I-80 in Wyoming with hundreds of billboards advertising for a hotel resort in the middle of nowhere. My answer is that they have 50 cent ice cream cones and that is pretty awesome. Go with the twist cone if you're going to get one. You need both chocolate and vanilla to really appreciate the experience. Also they have pretty nice bathrooms.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Jasmine Tea?
Dear Nurse Dave,
In your lastest post you pointed out that Chuck Norris was in a movie called Sidekicks. What you failed to mention was that Uncle Iroh was in that same movie. While I am willing to admit that Chuck Norris could beat Uncle Iroh in a fight, don't you think that Uncle Iroh's wisdom would allow him to outsmart Chuck Norris? Also can you please explain the health effects of jasmine tea?
Alan
Arlington, Va
Alan from what I understand you're asking me a question about a cartoon character facing off against Chuck Norris. What you may or may not have know is that during my last summer in nursing school I spent significant time watching Avatar (the cartoon that features Uncle Iroh). And you also may not know that Chuck Norris had a cartoon where he had to fight deadly dolphins. So I'd like to approach the question from the angle of the two cartoon characters facing off. Clearly if that was the case Uncle Iroh wouldn't even need wisdom to finish off Chuck. Uncle Iroh has the ability to firebend while Chuck has a tough time fighting dolphins (they weren't even sharks, they were dolphins Alan).
As for tea Alan I'd suggest you abstain from it. Sure the jasmine flower is sweet but don't fall for it. Tea contains caffiene (a diuretic and stimulant), oxalates which can contribute to kidney stones and tannic acid that is commonly used to tan hides. It also can cause bad breath and stain teeth. I don't care about the fact that tea is the second most popular beverage in the world because you know what the most popular one is? Water, and really Alan you should just stick with water it has everything your body really needs. (in my household water is the most popular beverage followed closely by Tang)
In your lastest post you pointed out that Chuck Norris was in a movie called Sidekicks. What you failed to mention was that Uncle Iroh was in that same movie. While I am willing to admit that Chuck Norris could beat Uncle Iroh in a fight, don't you think that Uncle Iroh's wisdom would allow him to outsmart Chuck Norris? Also can you please explain the health effects of jasmine tea?
Alan
Arlington, Va
Alan from what I understand you're asking me a question about a cartoon character facing off against Chuck Norris. What you may or may not have know is that during my last summer in nursing school I spent significant time watching Avatar (the cartoon that features Uncle Iroh). And you also may not know that Chuck Norris had a cartoon where he had to fight deadly dolphins. So I'd like to approach the question from the angle of the two cartoon characters facing off. Clearly if that was the case Uncle Iroh wouldn't even need wisdom to finish off Chuck. Uncle Iroh has the ability to firebend while Chuck has a tough time fighting dolphins (they weren't even sharks, they were dolphins Alan).
As for tea Alan I'd suggest you abstain from it. Sure the jasmine flower is sweet but don't fall for it. Tea contains caffiene (a diuretic and stimulant), oxalates which can contribute to kidney stones and tannic acid that is commonly used to tan hides. It also can cause bad breath and stain teeth. I don't care about the fact that tea is the second most popular beverage in the world because you know what the most popular one is? Water, and really Alan you should just stick with water it has everything your body really needs. (in my household water is the most popular beverage followed closely by Tang)
Friday, June 17, 2011
Eagle Attack
Hey Nurse Dave,
What are the chances a human being could survive such an attack?
Bill, Slinger, WI
Bill I think you'll find we covered some similar ground in the review of Fast Five. But in that post we discussed Paul Walker and Vin Diesel so I'm not sure that they actually fit into the category of human being (I'd place them in the superhuman category). So let's discuss human beings.
The first thing that came to my mind is this sign that can be seen as you begin your decent into the grand canyon.
The total distance of going from the top of the canyon to the bottom and back is about 12 miles and it is a difficult hike. But what I'm seeing here is that human beings don't have to be thrown down a cliff by an eagle to die they can simply die by gradually descending a nice trail down that same cliff face on a hot day.
The average human being isn't going to survive any of those wicked eagle attacks. The average human being, according to that sign, is going to be lucky to survive a 12 mile hike. Bill people die by missing a step coming off a curb, slipping on ice or trying to balance on one foot while washing the other foot in the shower. Could someone survive that fall? Sure, his name is Vin Diesel. But the average human being has trouble not getting injured while playing volleyball and he's certainly not going to survive the fall.
What are the chances a human being could survive such an attack?
Bill, Slinger, WI
Bill I think you'll find we covered some similar ground in the review of Fast Five. But in that post we discussed Paul Walker and Vin Diesel so I'm not sure that they actually fit into the category of human being (I'd place them in the superhuman category). So let's discuss human beings.
The first thing that came to my mind is this sign that can be seen as you begin your decent into the grand canyon.
The average human being isn't going to survive any of those wicked eagle attacks. The average human being, according to that sign, is going to be lucky to survive a 12 mile hike. Bill people die by missing a step coming off a curb, slipping on ice or trying to balance on one foot while washing the other foot in the shower. Could someone survive that fall? Sure, his name is Vin Diesel. But the average human being has trouble not getting injured while playing volleyball and he's certainly not going to survive the fall.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Chuck
Nurse Dave,
I was doing some scholarly research today on Chuck Norris. It was a amazing way to spend the afternoon. But I came across the fact that "Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes." What are your feelings on this claim?
Janina; Flagstaff, AZ
Sometimes it can be hard to sift through fact and fiction. For instance it sounds made up that a movie about giant robots from outer space that transform into 18 wheeler trucks has been a giant worldwide box office hit twice and soon to be three times. But Janina it is true. People are very interested in this concept and continue to be.
So first lets start with what we know about Chuck Norris to be actual fact. He has a beard. He's pretty good at martial arts. He once saved me from a crazed german guy in the Utah desert. He loves tight jeans (which are surprisingly associated with very conservative political views). He once played an imaginary friend to a kid with low confidence in a movie called Sidekicks. Finally he's the author of several western themed novels. So the guy is pretty amazing.
So is Chuck capable of amazing feats? Certainly but can he kick a horse and make the horses neck extend? Again certainly but in doing so he'd probably kill the horse. But Janina you've got to really look at the question you're asking. Does a giraffe even have a long neck? I challenge you to look a picture of a horse drinking water and a giraffe drinking water.
Which one looks more uncomfortable and seems to have inadequate neck length? You've got to sift through the fiction Janina and get at the facts.
I was doing some scholarly research today on Chuck Norris. It was a amazing way to spend the afternoon. But I came across the fact that "Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes." What are your feelings on this claim?
Janina; Flagstaff, AZ
Sometimes it can be hard to sift through fact and fiction. For instance it sounds made up that a movie about giant robots from outer space that transform into 18 wheeler trucks has been a giant worldwide box office hit twice and soon to be three times. But Janina it is true. People are very interested in this concept and continue to be.
So first lets start with what we know about Chuck Norris to be actual fact. He has a beard. He's pretty good at martial arts. He once saved me from a crazed german guy in the Utah desert. He loves tight jeans (which are surprisingly associated with very conservative political views). He once played an imaginary friend to a kid with low confidence in a movie called Sidekicks. Finally he's the author of several western themed novels. So the guy is pretty amazing.
So is Chuck capable of amazing feats? Certainly but can he kick a horse and make the horses neck extend? Again certainly but in doing so he'd probably kill the horse. But Janina you've got to really look at the question you're asking. Does a giraffe even have a long neck? I challenge you to look a picture of a horse drinking water and a giraffe drinking water.
Which one looks more uncomfortable and seems to have inadequate neck length? You've got to sift through the fiction Janina and get at the facts.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Worst thing?
Dear Nurse Dave,
What's the worse thing you've had to do as a nurse?
Jamichael, West Palm, FL
You're probably expecting me to say enema right? Well giving an enema really isn't that bad and it can actually be quite refreshing to a patient. You're probably also thinking about other things involving poo but usually as a nurse I'm not the one cleaning up. That would naturally lead to pee and catheters which can be gross but really putting a catheter in is saving me a lot of trouble as far as cleaning up pee goes. So where do we go from here? Bed baths? Isn't really my job. Weird wounds and sores? Can be gross but also can be very interesting. Angry patient? They usually don't get angry but sometimes their families do. Mean co-workers? Haven't had an issue but I've met some mean nurses that just don't understand that nursing is caring. 12 hour shifts? Sure it is a long day but it leads to having 4 days off. Dealing with the doctors? Most of them are actually pretty nice. Having to wear navy blue scrubs and having a terrible case of dandruff? Well yeah that probably hurts my professionalism but I don't feel too bad about it. Reading doctor's handwriting? That can be hard but it comes with the territory. Standing on my feet for 12 hours? Sure I'm looking for new shoes but at least the new ones don't have to be all white like my nursing school shoes. So I don't have any real complaints (except for cleaning poo it is gross)
What's the worse thing you've had to do as a nurse?
Jamichael, West Palm, FL
You're probably expecting me to say enema right? Well giving an enema really isn't that bad and it can actually be quite refreshing to a patient. You're probably also thinking about other things involving poo but usually as a nurse I'm not the one cleaning up. That would naturally lead to pee and catheters which can be gross but really putting a catheter in is saving me a lot of trouble as far as cleaning up pee goes. So where do we go from here? Bed baths? Isn't really my job. Weird wounds and sores? Can be gross but also can be very interesting. Angry patient? They usually don't get angry but sometimes their families do. Mean co-workers? Haven't had an issue but I've met some mean nurses that just don't understand that nursing is caring. 12 hour shifts? Sure it is a long day but it leads to having 4 days off. Dealing with the doctors? Most of them are actually pretty nice. Having to wear navy blue scrubs and having a terrible case of dandruff? Well yeah that probably hurts my professionalism but I don't feel too bad about it. Reading doctor's handwriting? That can be hard but it comes with the territory. Standing on my feet for 12 hours? Sure I'm looking for new shoes but at least the new ones don't have to be all white like my nursing school shoes. So I don't have any real complaints (except for cleaning poo it is gross)
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
M. Night Syndrome
Dear Nurse Dave,
Is there a medical equivalent to the career of M. Night Shyamalan?
Bradley, Tulsa, OK
Bradley I'm assuming you're refering to M. Night peaking with his first film and somehow steadily getting worse with each film until his last film was actually unwatchable. Frankly I've been impressed with the whole ride. Its been like a roller coaster where the first drop is amazing but then by the end you have a headache. For M. Night his rollercoaster began to get especially jerky with the movie where that guy only works out one side of his body.
Now it is easy to think of equivalents in sports (Penny Hardaway), music (the Strokes), television (I think that show Hero's had the M. Night thing happening but I never watched) and food (tortilla soup, it gets worse every time). But in the medical industry we actually have a name for this phenomenon it is called M. Night Syndrome.
An example of an M. Night Syndrome would be Gigantism. At first the kid is probably thinking, "hey this is cool, I'm getting bigger than everybody." But as time creeps on you're 8 feet tall, have back problems and end up starring in movies with Billy Crystal.
Also there is hyperthyroidism. At first you just have some unexplained weightloss and you're probably thinking, "hey this is cool, I'm losing weight without trying." But of course time creeps on you have no energy, have eyes jutting out of your skull, and you're feeling nervous all the time eventually becoming low energy nervouswreck.
Other disorders are being looked into and many others can fall under the umbrella of M. Night Syndrome. Right now we just have to raise awareness and study M. Night's films in hopes of finding a cure. Also I heard they're planning a 5K in downtown Philadelphia.
Is there a medical equivalent to the career of M. Night Shyamalan?
Bradley, Tulsa, OK
Bradley I'm assuming you're refering to M. Night peaking with his first film and somehow steadily getting worse with each film until his last film was actually unwatchable. Frankly I've been impressed with the whole ride. Its been like a roller coaster where the first drop is amazing but then by the end you have a headache. For M. Night his rollercoaster began to get especially jerky with the movie where that guy only works out one side of his body.
Now it is easy to think of equivalents in sports (Penny Hardaway), music (the Strokes), television (I think that show Hero's had the M. Night thing happening but I never watched) and food (tortilla soup, it gets worse every time). But in the medical industry we actually have a name for this phenomenon it is called M. Night Syndrome.
An example of an M. Night Syndrome would be Gigantism. At first the kid is probably thinking, "hey this is cool, I'm getting bigger than everybody." But as time creeps on you're 8 feet tall, have back problems and end up starring in movies with Billy Crystal.
Also there is hyperthyroidism. At first you just have some unexplained weightloss and you're probably thinking, "hey this is cool, I'm losing weight without trying." But of course time creeps on you have no energy, have eyes jutting out of your skull, and you're feeling nervous all the time eventually becoming low energy nervouswreck.
Other disorders are being looked into and many others can fall under the umbrella of M. Night Syndrome. Right now we just have to raise awareness and study M. Night's films in hopes of finding a cure. Also I heard they're planning a 5K in downtown Philadelphia.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Nickleback
(Editor's Note: The question today involves a powerful song by Nickleback and rather than provide the whole of the lyrics I will just answer some of the questions that Chad asks through his song. Grayson sent the lyrics to me and asked for my thoughts. Thanks Grayson just watching the video has already changed my life.)
1) If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late could you say goodbye to yesterday?
My answer is probably.
2)Would you live each moment like your last, leave old pictures in the past?
I'm pretty chubby in a lot of old pictures so I guess I'd leave them in the past but I was a pretty cute chubby kid so maybe I wouldn't leave it in the past. But yes I'd live each moment like it was my last.
That's me being chubby
3)Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
I'm actually still carrying a lot of debt from a failed attempt at law school. My net worth right now is in the red. So I can't really help you out there.
4)What if, what if, if today was your last day?
I'd go sky diving, rocky mountain climbing and riding a bull named fu man chu (Ideas courtesy of Tim McGraw.)
5)And would you call those friends you never see?
Some of those guys are pretty hard to get a hold of.
6)Reminisce old memories?
Maybe a little but I'd probably be busy sky diving.
7)Would you forgive your enemies?
I never really had an enemy but there was this tall guy who was interested in dating this girl that I was also interested in dating. Once when I walked past him with the girl he shouted out, "No chance little man!" I hope he's found something better to do with his time now.
8)And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Recently my dreams have involved buying a projector to watch movies on a wall in my house. But really why would I do that on my last day.
9) Swear up and down to God above that you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?
Already did that one. I'd recommend it to anyone.
10) If today was your last day would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
Well the thing is I already do that a lot. Almost everyday I've mended some kind of broken heart so sure I'd fit it in to my last day as well.
And finally also some lyrics from the song that I've actually painted on the ceiling above my bed with glow in the dark paint so I can be inspired as I fall asleep.
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side
1) If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late could you say goodbye to yesterday?
My answer is probably.
2)Would you live each moment like your last, leave old pictures in the past?
I'm pretty chubby in a lot of old pictures so I guess I'd leave them in the past but I was a pretty cute chubby kid so maybe I wouldn't leave it in the past. But yes I'd live each moment like it was my last.
3)Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
I'm actually still carrying a lot of debt from a failed attempt at law school. My net worth right now is in the red. So I can't really help you out there.
4)What if, what if, if today was your last day?
I'd go sky diving, rocky mountain climbing and riding a bull named fu man chu (Ideas courtesy of Tim McGraw.)
5)And would you call those friends you never see?
Some of those guys are pretty hard to get a hold of.
6)Reminisce old memories?
Maybe a little but I'd probably be busy sky diving.
7)Would you forgive your enemies?
I never really had an enemy but there was this tall guy who was interested in dating this girl that I was also interested in dating. Once when I walked past him with the girl he shouted out, "No chance little man!" I hope he's found something better to do with his time now.
8)And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Recently my dreams have involved buying a projector to watch movies on a wall in my house. But really why would I do that on my last day.
9) Swear up and down to God above that you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?
Already did that one. I'd recommend it to anyone.
10) If today was your last day would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
Well the thing is I already do that a lot. Almost everyday I've mended some kind of broken heart so sure I'd fit it in to my last day as well.
And finally also some lyrics from the song that I've actually painted on the ceiling above my bed with glow in the dark paint so I can be inspired as I fall asleep.
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Canadians
Dear Nurse Dave:
What are your thoughts on Canadians? And the use of "$" in Ke$ha's name?
Best,
Amy (Dearborn, MI)
I think I speak for all Americans when I say I have very few thoughts on Canadians but I've heard they get upset when you use the term American to exclude Canadians. They claim to also be American. Their claims stem from being a part of the North American continent but so is Greenland and they certainly don't claim to be American. Greenland doesn't really claim anything not even Bjork, she's from Iceland.
Some thoughts I've had on Canadians include: socialized health care, pronouncing "about" as "aboot", beer, niagra falls, ice hockey, frenchcanadian, canada dry ginger ale, that John Candy movie Canadian Bacon, Neil Young and why is Arcade fire considered a canadian band if they are really from Texas? In general Canada feels like a person you meet once and the person seems friendly enough but you just don't really care if you speak to them again. In fact that person makes you feel a little uncomfortable due to a strange way of saying "about" and the fact that he/she really really likes ice hockey.
As for Ke$ha. I just want to say thank you. Thank you to Ke$ha for showing me that putting a $ in your name can be socially acceptable not only acceptable but in fact celebrated. In fact I'm now in favor of putting symbols in names in general, as well as intentional mispelling of names and a huge fan of mixing animal names with money terms (Chamillionare, Cashmonkey, Dolladuck and Nickleback). How are we going to know how far we can take it until we go there? There have to be pioneers like Ke$ha to push the envelope and then maybe we'll finally be ready for this.
What are your thoughts on Canadians? And the use of "$" in Ke$ha's name?
Best,
Amy (Dearborn, MI)
I think I speak for all Americans when I say I have very few thoughts on Canadians but I've heard they get upset when you use the term American to exclude Canadians. They claim to also be American. Their claims stem from being a part of the North American continent but so is Greenland and they certainly don't claim to be American. Greenland doesn't really claim anything not even Bjork, she's from Iceland.
Some thoughts I've had on Canadians include: socialized health care, pronouncing "about" as "aboot", beer, niagra falls, ice hockey, frenchcanadian, canada dry ginger ale, that John Candy movie Canadian Bacon, Neil Young and why is Arcade fire considered a canadian band if they are really from Texas? In general Canada feels like a person you meet once and the person seems friendly enough but you just don't really care if you speak to them again. In fact that person makes you feel a little uncomfortable due to a strange way of saying "about" and the fact that he/she really really likes ice hockey.
As for Ke$ha. I just want to say thank you. Thank you to Ke$ha for showing me that putting a $ in your name can be socially acceptable not only acceptable but in fact celebrated. In fact I'm now in favor of putting symbols in names in general, as well as intentional mispelling of names and a huge fan of mixing animal names with money terms (Chamillionare, Cashmonkey, Dolladuck and Nickleback). How are we going to know how far we can take it until we go there? There have to be pioneers like Ke$ha to push the envelope and then maybe we'll finally be ready for this.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Vacation
Dear Nurse Dave,
Where you been? Its been more than a week since your last post.
Cheryl, Las Vegas, NM
First, Cheryl I'm sure that you're tired of explaining that there is a Las Vegas, New Mexico and it isn't Las Vegas, Nevada. So I'll save you the trouble of explaining. Here's the city's site. Check it out everybody.
Second I was on vacation. Everybody needs a vacation or else sometimes stress can build to unhealthy levels. This particular vacation involved spending some time at the beach and going to see Fort Sumter. The first shots of the civil war were fired there and the fort also features this plaque explaining how the confederate army never surrendered the fort (they just gave up the fort when they saw a larger army coming, I'm not sure what the difference is). The vacation also featured my 2 year old niece that has the exact same hair style as Billy Murray (an excellent haircut decision).
So Cheryl I'd recommend you take a break sometime. You seem a little high strung. Get out of the hustle and bustle of Las Vegas and take some time to yourself. Just a few tips for you. Any successful vacation needs to consist of four things, 1) Some form of American History, 2) Lots of driving, 3) Wearing clothes you wouldn't normally feel comfortable wearing in public and 4) Overeating. Good Luck.
p.s. take pictures of you jumping off of stuff. always a good move on vacation.
Where you been? Its been more than a week since your last post.
Cheryl, Las Vegas, NM
First, Cheryl I'm sure that you're tired of explaining that there is a Las Vegas, New Mexico and it isn't Las Vegas, Nevada. So I'll save you the trouble of explaining. Here's the city's site. Check it out everybody.
Second I was on vacation. Everybody needs a vacation or else sometimes stress can build to unhealthy levels. This particular vacation involved spending some time at the beach and going to see Fort Sumter. The first shots of the civil war were fired there and the fort also features this plaque explaining how the confederate army never surrendered the fort (they just gave up the fort when they saw a larger army coming, I'm not sure what the difference is). The vacation also featured my 2 year old niece that has the exact same hair style as Billy Murray (an excellent haircut decision).
So Cheryl I'd recommend you take a break sometime. You seem a little high strung. Get out of the hustle and bustle of Las Vegas and take some time to yourself. Just a few tips for you. Any successful vacation needs to consist of four things, 1) Some form of American History, 2) Lots of driving, 3) Wearing clothes you wouldn't normally feel comfortable wearing in public and 4) Overeating. Good Luck.
p.s. take pictures of you jumping off of stuff. always a good move on vacation.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Coke or Pepsi?
Dear Nurse Dave,
Coke or Pepsi?
Terrance, Las Cruces, NM
Over the years my answer to the question has changed mostly as my reaction to the brand advertising has changed. In my youth I considered myself a Pepsi drinker. In the eighties and early nineties Pepsi had positioned itself as the choice of a new generation with the help of various radical celebrities. I felt that this new generation included me somehow and I didn't want to be included with the elderly people that loved coke. But as time moved forward I began to feel less inclined to be the part of a new generation and wanted something more from my soda. Plus I blame Pepsi for Michael's death.
As I grew as a person my tastes changed and that I realized coke was for me. I no longer needed something flashy. I no longer needed a product that was trying just too hard to be cool. I needed something classic that would never let you down. Pepsi began to feel like that kid down the street that would give you his watch if you would be friends with him. While Coke felt more like that natural friendly kid that everybody liked. In Happy Days terms Pepsi is Ralph Malph and Coke is the Fonz. Ralph may be able to get you a few laughs but he's got nothing on the Fonz.
Coke has to be the choice of anyone with real class or a leather jacket. But my favorite soda is actually Dr. Pepper. In Happy Day's terms Pepsi is Ralph Malph, Coke is the Fonz and Dr. Pepper is a show i actually watch.
Coke or Pepsi?
Terrance, Las Cruces, NM
Over the years my answer to the question has changed mostly as my reaction to the brand advertising has changed. In my youth I considered myself a Pepsi drinker. In the eighties and early nineties Pepsi had positioned itself as the choice of a new generation with the help of various radical celebrities. I felt that this new generation included me somehow and I didn't want to be included with the elderly people that loved coke. But as time moved forward I began to feel less inclined to be the part of a new generation and wanted something more from my soda. Plus I blame Pepsi for Michael's death.
As I grew as a person my tastes changed and that I realized coke was for me. I no longer needed something flashy. I no longer needed a product that was trying just too hard to be cool. I needed something classic that would never let you down. Pepsi began to feel like that kid down the street that would give you his watch if you would be friends with him. While Coke felt more like that natural friendly kid that everybody liked. In Happy Days terms Pepsi is Ralph Malph and Coke is the Fonz. Ralph may be able to get you a few laughs but he's got nothing on the Fonz.
Coke has to be the choice of anyone with real class or a leather jacket. But my favorite soda is actually Dr. Pepper. In Happy Day's terms Pepsi is Ralph Malph, Coke is the Fonz and Dr. Pepper is a show i actually watch.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Fibromyalgia?
Dear Nurse Dave,
So my Aunt claims she has fibromyalgia and says that it just makes her hurt all the time. She doesn't work or do anything. Is she just crazy or is this a real problem?
Annie, Brooklyn, NY
Annie it is real but your Aunt could still be crazy. Fibromyalgia is a real problem that people have that means that person has chronic pain and really can't do much. The thing is just like every 14 year old boy that claims he has a girlfriend out of state may not actually have a girlfriend out of state, every person that claims they have fibromyalgia may not actually have fibromyalgia.
So your next question probably is, "Then how can I tell if she has it or not?" My answer is I don't know. If someone tells me they are in pain I just believe them. I don't really have another option and it really isn't going to hurt someone to give them pain medication even if they don't really need it (which I have no way of knowing). So Annie my advice would be read up on Fibromyalgia and see how you can help your aunt out. Ask her questions about the disease and be open to her answers. (You can do the same thing with a 14 year old claiming to have an out of state girlfriend. The truth will come out pretty quickly).
In addition here's a creepy pain scale you can use with your aunt (10 = really hurts).
So my Aunt claims she has fibromyalgia and says that it just makes her hurt all the time. She doesn't work or do anything. Is she just crazy or is this a real problem?
Annie, Brooklyn, NY
Annie it is real but your Aunt could still be crazy. Fibromyalgia is a real problem that people have that means that person has chronic pain and really can't do much. The thing is just like every 14 year old boy that claims he has a girlfriend out of state may not actually have a girlfriend out of state, every person that claims they have fibromyalgia may not actually have fibromyalgia.
So your next question probably is, "Then how can I tell if she has it or not?" My answer is I don't know. If someone tells me they are in pain I just believe them. I don't really have another option and it really isn't going to hurt someone to give them pain medication even if they don't really need it (which I have no way of knowing). So Annie my advice would be read up on Fibromyalgia and see how you can help your aunt out. Ask her questions about the disease and be open to her answers. (You can do the same thing with a 14 year old claiming to have an out of state girlfriend. The truth will come out pretty quickly).
In addition here's a creepy pain scale you can use with your aunt (10 = really hurts).
Monday, May 16, 2011
More National Treasure
Dear Nurse Dave,
Two questions. 1) Sometimes I get what my doctor calls angina and my chest really hurts. What's causing that pain? and 2) What do you think they'll do for National Treasure 3?
Leroy, Burton, AL
1) Leroy angina is not a good thing. Angina commonly occurs when the heart isn't getting enough enough oxygen. The drug treatment for angina is nitroglycerin. It is a pill that dilates the arteries supplying blood to the heart so that it can get the oxygen carrying blood that it needs. If the pain isn't relieved by nitroglycerin you could actually be having a heart attack. That occurs when an artery supplying blood to a portion of your heart gets totally blocked up and that part of the heart can actually die. Leroy you should be under the care of a cardiologist.
2) Like you Leroy I'm a huge fan of National Treasure 1 and 2. Who would have thought the founding fathers would have hidden two different massive treasures in two different extremely patriotic landmarks? So like you I'm looking forward to where the next treasure will be found. This one I see playing out in the national parks. I want to see Nic Cage in Yosemite, the Grand Canyon and Yellowstone. There will of course be awesome clues hidden in Old Faithful, on top of Half Dome and somewhere at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. During all the adventure Nic will be chased by a new villain (I'm hoping for Deniro) that is seeking to exploit history for personal gain. I'm thinking the adventure ends in San Francisco with a helicopter chase over the Golden Gate Bridge ending on Alcatraz (remember the Rock) where the 3rd awesome treasure is hidden. This treasure has a lot to do with the Roosevelts and a little to do with the mafia. The final scene that I want is Nic Cage standing in the wind with a American Flag wrapped around him tearing up as someone sings America the Beautiful. Also the treasure will be used to help create jobs.
(unfortunately from what I've read Nic wants to go international with this one, Lets hope this isn't true).
Two questions. 1) Sometimes I get what my doctor calls angina and my chest really hurts. What's causing that pain? and 2) What do you think they'll do for National Treasure 3?
Leroy, Burton, AL
1) Leroy angina is not a good thing. Angina commonly occurs when the heart isn't getting enough enough oxygen. The drug treatment for angina is nitroglycerin. It is a pill that dilates the arteries supplying blood to the heart so that it can get the oxygen carrying blood that it needs. If the pain isn't relieved by nitroglycerin you could actually be having a heart attack. That occurs when an artery supplying blood to a portion of your heart gets totally blocked up and that part of the heart can actually die. Leroy you should be under the care of a cardiologist.
2) Like you Leroy I'm a huge fan of National Treasure 1 and 2. Who would have thought the founding fathers would have hidden two different massive treasures in two different extremely patriotic landmarks? So like you I'm looking forward to where the next treasure will be found. This one I see playing out in the national parks. I want to see Nic Cage in Yosemite, the Grand Canyon and Yellowstone. There will of course be awesome clues hidden in Old Faithful, on top of Half Dome and somewhere at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. During all the adventure Nic will be chased by a new villain (I'm hoping for Deniro) that is seeking to exploit history for personal gain. I'm thinking the adventure ends in San Francisco with a helicopter chase over the Golden Gate Bridge ending on Alcatraz (remember the Rock) where the 3rd awesome treasure is hidden. This treasure has a lot to do with the Roosevelts and a little to do with the mafia. The final scene that I want is Nic Cage standing in the wind with a American Flag wrapped around him tearing up as someone sings America the Beautiful. Also the treasure will be used to help create jobs.
(unfortunately from what I've read Nic wants to go international with this one, Lets hope this isn't true).
Friday, May 13, 2011
Shin Splints?
Dear Nurse Dave,
I love running but lately my shins have really been hurting after I go running. I think I've got shin splints. I'm training for a marathon but I can hardly handle it. What can I do?
Samantha, Cold Creek, MO
Well Samantha the traditional answer would be rest, new shoes, ice and blah blah blah. But none of that stuff is what a tough guy would do. He would just run through the pain. And personally I recommend the tough guy approach.
Take Willis Reed for example. He went out and played game 7 of the NBA finals with his calf muscle torn off his bone. What happened? Oh nothing much, his team just won the championship. Kevin McHale played the '87 playoffs with a broken foot. Brandon Roy returned last year to face the Phoenix Suns in the playoffs without even having a knee. Roy Hobbs got shot by a lady on a train and then hit a homerun that made all of the lights in the stadium explode. The examples of athletes playing through injury to achieve glory are almost countless. So the question you need to ask yourself is "Do I want glory?" I certainly hope the answer is yes.
(Disclaimer - Every athlete mentioned above had careers that were almost certainly shortened or prematurely ended because they played through injury. Who knows what they could have done if they hadn't taken the tough guy approach and given their bodies opportunities to heal?)
I love running but lately my shins have really been hurting after I go running. I think I've got shin splints. I'm training for a marathon but I can hardly handle it. What can I do?
Samantha, Cold Creek, MO
Well Samantha the traditional answer would be rest, new shoes, ice and blah blah blah. But none of that stuff is what a tough guy would do. He would just run through the pain. And personally I recommend the tough guy approach.
Take Willis Reed for example. He went out and played game 7 of the NBA finals with his calf muscle torn off his bone. What happened? Oh nothing much, his team just won the championship. Kevin McHale played the '87 playoffs with a broken foot. Brandon Roy returned last year to face the Phoenix Suns in the playoffs without even having a knee. Roy Hobbs got shot by a lady on a train and then hit a homerun that made all of the lights in the stadium explode. The examples of athletes playing through injury to achieve glory are almost countless. So the question you need to ask yourself is "Do I want glory?" I certainly hope the answer is yes.
(Disclaimer - Every athlete mentioned above had careers that were almost certainly shortened or prematurely ended because they played through injury. Who knows what they could have done if they hadn't taken the tough guy approach and given their bodies opportunities to heal?)
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Breakfast
Nurse Dave,
My mom always said that, "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day." Is this true? And if so what should I be eating?
Tony, Portland, Maine
First Tony I've got a question for you. Are you in anyway associated with Tony's Donut Shop? If so I feel like you have a lot of nerve asking these questions. You already have the answers. Breakfast is clearly the most important meal of the day and that's why donuts are so important.
Donuts were originally spelled doughnuts and also were originally fried in hog's fat (a practice which has sadly fallen out of fashion). Benjamin Franklin is said to have invented the process for putting jelly or custard into the middle of a donut. An achievement that he ranked two slots above discovering electricity in his autobiography. Unshockingly the donut has conquered the entire Earth with variations being found in Germany,Japan, India, and countless other countries.
So why eat them for breakfast? Well the health upsides of donuts have been well documented. They provide more calories per serving than almost any other food and taste delicious. The fat and sugar packed into each bite should be enough power anyone through an entire day.
In conclusion Tony, I love donuts. My personal top 3 donuts would be 1) That donut I had in hawaii at the bottom of a Volcano (it was a simple glazed donut done to perfection) 2) That time I went to Krispy Kreme somewhere in Florida (it was my first taste of Krispy Kreme and at the tender age of 19 I knew that I'd found something to cherish). 3) The hundreds of times I've had a Boston creme donut from Dunkin Donuts. So Tony, if you are the donut Tony, next time I'm in Maine I'll check out your shop and maybe you could make the list.
Other good breakfast options include Apple Jacks, Froot Loops and of course Grape Nuts
My mom always said that, "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day." Is this true? And if so what should I be eating?
Tony, Portland, Maine
First Tony I've got a question for you. Are you in anyway associated with Tony's Donut Shop? If so I feel like you have a lot of nerve asking these questions. You already have the answers. Breakfast is clearly the most important meal of the day and that's why donuts are so important.
Donuts were originally spelled doughnuts and also were originally fried in hog's fat (a practice which has sadly fallen out of fashion). Benjamin Franklin is said to have invented the process for putting jelly or custard into the middle of a donut. An achievement that he ranked two slots above discovering electricity in his autobiography. Unshockingly the donut has conquered the entire Earth with variations being found in Germany,Japan, India, and countless other countries.
So why eat them for breakfast? Well the health upsides of donuts have been well documented. They provide more calories per serving than almost any other food and taste delicious. The fat and sugar packed into each bite should be enough power anyone through an entire day.
In conclusion Tony, I love donuts. My personal top 3 donuts would be 1) That donut I had in hawaii at the bottom of a Volcano (it was a simple glazed donut done to perfection) 2) That time I went to Krispy Kreme somewhere in Florida (it was my first taste of Krispy Kreme and at the tender age of 19 I knew that I'd found something to cherish). 3) The hundreds of times I've had a Boston creme donut from Dunkin Donuts. So Tony, if you are the donut Tony, next time I'm in Maine I'll check out your shop and maybe you could make the list.
Other good breakfast options include Apple Jacks, Froot Loops and of course Grape Nuts
Friday, May 6, 2011
Bedtime
Dear Nurse Dave,
You are killing me. Love the blog and the answers.
I just stayed up way past my promised bedtime to read your blog.. and now i will pay at work tomorrow. (and it's a very important day tomorrow) this leads me to my question....
Every night i plan to get to bed at a decent hour, but then I end up finding a distraction (usually a productive one) that keeps me up 1 to 2 hours past my self imposed bed time. I feel like i have to get something productive done before i can have a satisfying sleep and may get stressed as the night wains until i find fulfillment. I would rather get up early and exercise, but i can't shake the cycle. My mother let me stay up late as a kid to work on projects with her. We both have lots of anxiety about keeping busy as well. So, A. Is my problem genetic or habitual? and B. How can i break it?
Kris Sundberg, CA (Kris's photoblog and his prints)
Interesting thoughts Kris. First I want to speak to genetics by pointing you to this story. It's about girls that were switched at birth and always wondered why they didn't fit in with their families. One family was the shy awkward type and the other family the outgoing type. The switched girls still ended up with personalities the opposite of the family they were raised in. Obviously genetics plays some role in personality development.
But Kris we don't have to let genetics determine who we are and the choices we make. Pitching great Randy Johnson is 6'10 but didn't let genetics tell him to play basketball, instead he played and excelled at baseball. Genetics cursed Jeff Tweedy with his physical appearance but he became the lead singer of a successful rock band. Genetics of course plays part in the choices we make but we have free will. Just look at me, I'm a male nurse.
To overcome your limitations you've got to look inward. Really you're dealing with some of the same self control issues that Nicholas Cage dealt with in Con Air. He wasn't able to control his anger in a barroom fight and it led to incarceration. In a way he let his genetics make that choice. He learned to control himself through a three step process. First he grew his hair excessively long and started wearing tank tops. You don't have to make the same changes as him but you do need to change your look. Second he pondered about his mistakes for 8 years and did tons of pull-ups. You may not have this kind of time but you can buy a pull-up bar and do tons of pull-ups. Third, after pondering he decided what was right and stood up for his principles. The massive amounts of pull-ups he did made it possible for him to stand up for what was right. These steps allowed Nic to save a diabetic guy, write a note on a dead guy's body and drop it from a plane, survive a crash landing on the Vegas strip, kill some prison dudes, then finally defeat John Malkovich. So try the steps but don't feel bad if you can't accomplish as much as Nicholas Cage. He's had a lot longer time to work on this stuff.
some other suggestions
1) try dancing 30 minutes before bedtime (may I suggest this song)
2) Wake up with smooth jazz
3) try chewing more gum
4) write letters to yourself
You are killing me. Love the blog and the answers.
I just stayed up way past my promised bedtime to read your blog.. and now i will pay at work tomorrow. (and it's a very important day tomorrow) this leads me to my question....
Every night i plan to get to bed at a decent hour, but then I end up finding a distraction (usually a productive one) that keeps me up 1 to 2 hours past my self imposed bed time. I feel like i have to get something productive done before i can have a satisfying sleep and may get stressed as the night wains until i find fulfillment. I would rather get up early and exercise, but i can't shake the cycle. My mother let me stay up late as a kid to work on projects with her. We both have lots of anxiety about keeping busy as well. So, A. Is my problem genetic or habitual? and B. How can i break it?
Kris Sundberg, CA (Kris's photoblog and his prints)
Interesting thoughts Kris. First I want to speak to genetics by pointing you to this story. It's about girls that were switched at birth and always wondered why they didn't fit in with their families. One family was the shy awkward type and the other family the outgoing type. The switched girls still ended up with personalities the opposite of the family they were raised in. Obviously genetics plays some role in personality development.
But Kris we don't have to let genetics determine who we are and the choices we make. Pitching great Randy Johnson is 6'10 but didn't let genetics tell him to play basketball, instead he played and excelled at baseball. Genetics cursed Jeff Tweedy with his physical appearance but he became the lead singer of a successful rock band. Genetics of course plays part in the choices we make but we have free will. Just look at me, I'm a male nurse.
To overcome your limitations you've got to look inward. Really you're dealing with some of the same self control issues that Nicholas Cage dealt with in Con Air. He wasn't able to control his anger in a barroom fight and it led to incarceration. In a way he let his genetics make that choice. He learned to control himself through a three step process. First he grew his hair excessively long and started wearing tank tops. You don't have to make the same changes as him but you do need to change your look. Second he pondered about his mistakes for 8 years and did tons of pull-ups. You may not have this kind of time but you can buy a pull-up bar and do tons of pull-ups. Third, after pondering he decided what was right and stood up for his principles. The massive amounts of pull-ups he did made it possible for him to stand up for what was right. These steps allowed Nic to save a diabetic guy, write a note on a dead guy's body and drop it from a plane, survive a crash landing on the Vegas strip, kill some prison dudes, then finally defeat John Malkovich. So try the steps but don't feel bad if you can't accomplish as much as Nicholas Cage. He's had a lot longer time to work on this stuff.
some other suggestions
1) try dancing 30 minutes before bedtime (may I suggest this song)
2) Wake up with smooth jazz
3) try chewing more gum
4) write letters to yourself
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Can it get faster?
Nurse Dave,
I just saw Fast Five with Paul Walker and Vin Diesel. At one point in the movie they ride a car off a two hundred foot cliff and at some point in the fall they both jump out of the car to dive into water. Could someone actually survive a fall like that?
Karl, Oslo, Norway
Interesting thought Karl. I recently learned that it was popular for men to try to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge when it was first constructed. Survival from this jump was pretty dicey. Some guys made it and some didn't. The first guy to try it died when he hit the water 135 feet below. Others were knocked unconscious and had to be saved by boats in the water. One guy claimed to do it without anyone seeing him and then opened up a successful restaurant based on the fact that he jumped. So really with falls of that height it is going to be pretty much up to the individual.
Now with a 200 foot fall the likelihood of survival becomes even less but that's when you have to factor in who is falling. You're talking about Paul Walker and Vin Diesel. Obviously they can handle it. Vin Diesel is a guy that can jump a motorcycle 40 feet into the air without even trying. Paul Walker is a determined man that won't let countless obstacles stop him from finding his dogs, you think a two hundred foot fall is going to stop him? Come on get serious.
The thing is Karl you've got to watch the rest of Fast Five and then you can begin to understand that surviving a 200 hundred foot fall is pretty pedestrian for these guys. These guys steal police cars and then drag race them for fun. These guys not only hook a massive safe to the back of two sports cars but are able to use that safe to destroy any police cars trying to stop them. These guys rob the worse drug dealer in Brazil because of some kind of grudge I didn't really understand. These guys can escape being chained to a ceiling by making sure that any bullet shot at them won't hit them but will instead break the chains they are bound with. These guys live life a 1/4 mile at a time. Survival isn't going to be an issue for Paul and Vin. The issue is going to be where can they find a higher cliff.
In conclusion Fast Five is an amazing film. You'd think that you'd get bored with the movie after it gets past the 2 hour mark but they just keep reeling you in. You've got the action scenes (using a dune buggy to rob cars from a speeding train). You've got the emotional scenes (Vin and Paul discussing their fathers on a balcony). You've got the surprises (SPOILER ALERT - Paul's girlfriend throws up within the first ten minutes of the movie and in hollywood that can only mean one thing, she's pregnant). All that plus you throw in the Rock who happens to have some of the funniest lines in movie (although I don't think the humor was intentional). Plus they bring the whole gang back together (I will spend money on anything with Ludacris in it). I'm glad you saw the movie Karl and I would encourage everyone else to see it as well. Oh and a hint to everybody, if you stay for all the credits you might get a secret scene indicating what the plot of Fast Six will be about (its going to involve fast cars, hot women and a drug kingpin).
I just saw Fast Five with Paul Walker and Vin Diesel. At one point in the movie they ride a car off a two hundred foot cliff and at some point in the fall they both jump out of the car to dive into water. Could someone actually survive a fall like that?
Karl, Oslo, Norway
Interesting thought Karl. I recently learned that it was popular for men to try to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge when it was first constructed. Survival from this jump was pretty dicey. Some guys made it and some didn't. The first guy to try it died when he hit the water 135 feet below. Others were knocked unconscious and had to be saved by boats in the water. One guy claimed to do it without anyone seeing him and then opened up a successful restaurant based on the fact that he jumped. So really with falls of that height it is going to be pretty much up to the individual.
Now with a 200 foot fall the likelihood of survival becomes even less but that's when you have to factor in who is falling. You're talking about Paul Walker and Vin Diesel. Obviously they can handle it. Vin Diesel is a guy that can jump a motorcycle 40 feet into the air without even trying. Paul Walker is a determined man that won't let countless obstacles stop him from finding his dogs, you think a two hundred foot fall is going to stop him? Come on get serious.
The thing is Karl you've got to watch the rest of Fast Five and then you can begin to understand that surviving a 200 hundred foot fall is pretty pedestrian for these guys. These guys steal police cars and then drag race them for fun. These guys not only hook a massive safe to the back of two sports cars but are able to use that safe to destroy any police cars trying to stop them. These guys rob the worse drug dealer in Brazil because of some kind of grudge I didn't really understand. These guys can escape being chained to a ceiling by making sure that any bullet shot at them won't hit them but will instead break the chains they are bound with. These guys live life a 1/4 mile at a time. Survival isn't going to be an issue for Paul and Vin. The issue is going to be where can they find a higher cliff.
In conclusion Fast Five is an amazing film. You'd think that you'd get bored with the movie after it gets past the 2 hour mark but they just keep reeling you in. You've got the action scenes (using a dune buggy to rob cars from a speeding train). You've got the emotional scenes (Vin and Paul discussing their fathers on a balcony). You've got the surprises (SPOILER ALERT - Paul's girlfriend throws up within the first ten minutes of the movie and in hollywood that can only mean one thing, she's pregnant). All that plus you throw in the Rock who happens to have some of the funniest lines in movie (although I don't think the humor was intentional). Plus they bring the whole gang back together (I will spend money on anything with Ludacris in it). I'm glad you saw the movie Karl and I would encourage everyone else to see it as well. Oh and a hint to everybody, if you stay for all the credits you might get a secret scene indicating what the plot of Fast Six will be about (its going to involve fast cars, hot women and a drug kingpin).
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Steroids?
Dear Nurse Dave,
What's the deal with Steroids? The ones I take for my asthma only make my blood sugar go up. I don't get any sweet muscles. What's going on here?
Devon, Knoxville, TN
Good question Devon. The first thing you need to understand is that steroid is kind of an umbrella term. There are many things that fit under that umbrella. You can think of it like cheese. There are many, many kinds of cheese and you would be foolish to expect the same flavor from a feta as you would from a cheddar. The steroids you're taking can affect the body in a number of ways but you are taking them primarily for the anti-inflammatory properties (so you can breath).
What you are wondering about is anabolic steroids. These steroids mimic male sex hormones and enable massive amounts of muscle to be gained. Just look at what happened to Barry Bonds following his use of steroids.
Pretty impressive right? Well Devon Steroids aren't all just huge muscles, home runs and chicks. There are some side effects that actually aren't pleasant. There is the psychiatric effect commonly called roid rage. Some say it was the mood disorders caused by steroids that caused Stallone to make this film. There are also sexual side effects including masculine side effects for women (facial hair) and feminine side effects for men (gynecomastia). The roid's can also be hard on your heart and liver. Some men report baldness and increase in head size.
So the question for you Devon would be are sweet muscles worth the side effects? Well they certainly made my favorite childhood TV show possible but my personal answer is sweet muscles are awesome but you don't need anabolic steroids. You just need Tony Horton.
What's the deal with Steroids? The ones I take for my asthma only make my blood sugar go up. I don't get any sweet muscles. What's going on here?
Devon, Knoxville, TN
Good question Devon. The first thing you need to understand is that steroid is kind of an umbrella term. There are many things that fit under that umbrella. You can think of it like cheese. There are many, many kinds of cheese and you would be foolish to expect the same flavor from a feta as you would from a cheddar. The steroids you're taking can affect the body in a number of ways but you are taking them primarily for the anti-inflammatory properties (so you can breath).
What you are wondering about is anabolic steroids. These steroids mimic male sex hormones and enable massive amounts of muscle to be gained. Just look at what happened to Barry Bonds following his use of steroids.
Pretty impressive right? Well Devon Steroids aren't all just huge muscles, home runs and chicks. There are some side effects that actually aren't pleasant. There is the psychiatric effect commonly called roid rage. Some say it was the mood disorders caused by steroids that caused Stallone to make this film. There are also sexual side effects including masculine side effects for women (facial hair) and feminine side effects for men (gynecomastia). The roid's can also be hard on your heart and liver. Some men report baldness and increase in head size.
So the question for you Devon would be are sweet muscles worth the side effects? Well they certainly made my favorite childhood TV show possible but my personal answer is sweet muscles are awesome but you don't need anabolic steroids. You just need Tony Horton.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Bald?
Dear Nurse Dave,
I'm in my mid-twenties and I'm going bald what are my options?
Bill, Lawrence, KS
Bill you're not alone. This is a common struggle that men your age go through. The first thing you've got to ask yourself is, "Am I comfortable being bald?" If the answer is yes then you just have to pick from several bald hairstyle options: The total shave, The combover, the Gallagher, Tastefully cropped or be like my wife's grandpa. He likes to let the curls grow towards the top of his baldness. It looks good.
If you aren't comfortable with going bald there are medical treatments available. Medications include minoxidil and finasteride. Both have about a 50% chance of actually helping you regrow hair. But you'd be stuck using minoxidil forever. Hair transplant is also an option though results vary. And apparently hair cloning is now possible. Nonmedical treatments such as hats and toupees are also an option that men have had success with.
In the end Bill it is realy about being comfortable with yourself. Personally I'd go with the Gallagher.
I'm in my mid-twenties and I'm going bald what are my options?
Bill, Lawrence, KS
Bill you're not alone. This is a common struggle that men your age go through. The first thing you've got to ask yourself is, "Am I comfortable being bald?" If the answer is yes then you just have to pick from several bald hairstyle options: The total shave, The combover, the Gallagher, Tastefully cropped or be like my wife's grandpa. He likes to let the curls grow towards the top of his baldness. It looks good.
If you aren't comfortable with going bald there are medical treatments available. Medications include minoxidil and finasteride. Both have about a 50% chance of actually helping you regrow hair. But you'd be stuck using minoxidil forever. Hair transplant is also an option though results vary. And apparently hair cloning is now possible. Nonmedical treatments such as hats and toupees are also an option that men have had success with.
In the end Bill it is realy about being comfortable with yourself. Personally I'd go with the Gallagher.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Cool Guys
(if you haven't seen Jordan's expert facts regarding the last post you should probably read it in the comments, it is awesome and now for this post)
Dear Nurse Dave,
Which one of these are you?
Cool Guy Files
Grayson, Maybe somewhere in Utah
I would love to be a number of the different cool guys. With my recent efforts at P90X I could claim to be this cool guy but unfortunately my hair isn't long enough. I used to dress like this guy but its too hot in Arizona to wear a sport coat too much. And recently I've been looking into getting some cowboy gear and becoming this guy. But if I'm being honest with myself I understand that I'm Expert Guy. I'll give you a few reasons why
1) I started a blog where people could ask me questions to show that I know more than them.
2) On Monday I took a group of guys hiking and I pretty much sounded like a tour guide of the desert. At some point each guy complimented my chaco sandals and my homemade leather gatherings bag. Each guy was impressed by my expertise and when I told them that the hike usually takes me 2 1/2 hours less when I do it alone they all were further impressed.
3) Go ahead ask me where the fire came from. Yeah I made it. And yeah I used sticks to make it.
(I'm wearing chacos here)
4) I listen to NPR.
5) I read books. I even know about Napoleon. Why? I'll tell you why. I read a book. Did I finish the book? No but that doesn't matter. I can tell you all about him up to a certain point and thats all I really need to do to sound smart.
6) I read comic books. I think the new Captain America movie will be good but I'm less optimistic about Thor.
Thanks for the question Grayson. My advice to anyone out there would be to pick one of the cool guys and pattern your life after him. Its working for me.
Dear Nurse Dave,
Which one of these are you?
Cool Guy Files
Grayson, Maybe somewhere in Utah
I would love to be a number of the different cool guys. With my recent efforts at P90X I could claim to be this cool guy but unfortunately my hair isn't long enough. I used to dress like this guy but its too hot in Arizona to wear a sport coat too much. And recently I've been looking into getting some cowboy gear and becoming this guy. But if I'm being honest with myself I understand that I'm Expert Guy. I'll give you a few reasons why
1) I started a blog where people could ask me questions to show that I know more than them.
2) On Monday I took a group of guys hiking and I pretty much sounded like a tour guide of the desert. At some point each guy complimented my chaco sandals and my homemade leather gatherings bag. Each guy was impressed by my expertise and when I told them that the hike usually takes me 2 1/2 hours less when I do it alone they all were further impressed.
3) Go ahead ask me where the fire came from. Yeah I made it. And yeah I used sticks to make it.
(I'm wearing chacos here)
4) I listen to NPR.
5) I read books. I even know about Napoleon. Why? I'll tell you why. I read a book. Did I finish the book? No but that doesn't matter. I can tell you all about him up to a certain point and thats all I really need to do to sound smart.
6) I read comic books. I think the new Captain America movie will be good but I'm less optimistic about Thor.
Thanks for the question Grayson. My advice to anyone out there would be to pick one of the cool guys and pattern your life after him. Its working for me.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Fear is real
Nurse Dave,
We recently discovered that our plumbing may be inhabited by a colon cat. We haven't seen any attacks yet, but I'm afraid it's only a matter of time. I've heard that once a colon cat has chosen a place to live, it can never be removed. What do you suggest we do?
Spencer, Chicago, Il
Well Spencer I searched for colon cat on the internet and all I got was this. But I believe you are referring to the urban legend of a creature that lives in the sewer system and occasionally will attack an unsuspecting person through the toilet. The attacks are said to be violent and involve the victim's colon. Reports of actual colon cat sightings are unverified but the fear certainly is real. I would compare the colon cat and its potential existence to the chupacabra. Both creatures are terrifying to me so my first suggestion would probably be to move failing that here are a few suggestions
- The colon cat is attracted the colons loaded with high fat substances. Eat healthy.
- Toilet Seat Locks
- The colon cat is frightened by music with a 3/4 time signature so listen to lots of waltzes
- I heard that a colon cat killed John Wayne
- For further suggestions I think you should talk to my friend Jordan. He's an expert on the subject.
We recently discovered that our plumbing may be inhabited by a colon cat. We haven't seen any attacks yet, but I'm afraid it's only a matter of time. I've heard that once a colon cat has chosen a place to live, it can never be removed. What do you suggest we do?
Spencer, Chicago, Il
Well Spencer I searched for colon cat on the internet and all I got was this. But I believe you are referring to the urban legend of a creature that lives in the sewer system and occasionally will attack an unsuspecting person through the toilet. The attacks are said to be violent and involve the victim's colon. Reports of actual colon cat sightings are unverified but the fear certainly is real. I would compare the colon cat and its potential existence to the chupacabra. Both creatures are terrifying to me so my first suggestion would probably be to move failing that here are a few suggestions
- The colon cat is attracted the colons loaded with high fat substances. Eat healthy.
- Toilet Seat Locks
- The colon cat is frightened by music with a 3/4 time signature so listen to lots of waltzes
- I heard that a colon cat killed John Wayne
- For further suggestions I think you should talk to my friend Jordan. He's an expert on the subject.
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