We recently discovered that our plumbing may be inhabited by a colon cat. We haven't seen any attacks yet, but I'm afraid it's only a matter of time. I've heard that once a colon cat has chosen a place to live, it can never be removed. What do you suggest we do?
Spencer, Chicago, Il
Well Spencer I searched for colon cat on the internet and all I got was this. But I believe you are referring to the urban legend of a creature that lives in the sewer system and occasionally will attack an unsuspecting person through the toilet. The attacks are said to be violent and involve the victim's colon. Reports of actual colon cat sightings are unverified but the fear certainly is real. I would compare the colon cat and its potential existence to the chupacabra. Both creatures are terrifying to me so my first suggestion would probably be to move failing that here are a few suggestions
- The colon cat is attracted the colons loaded with high fat substances. Eat healthy.
- Toilet Seat Locks
- The colon cat is frightened by music with a 3/4 time signature so listen to lots of waltzes
- I heard that a colon cat killed John Wayne
- For further suggestions I think you should talk to my friend Jordan. He's an expert on the subject.