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Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Point Break

Dear Nurse Dave,
Can you explain the difference between Point Break and the Fast and the Furious? They just seem like exactly the same movie to me.
Bryce, Sugarloaf, UT

The plots are virtually identical and the performances of Paul Walker and Keanu Reeves could be traded and neither movie would lose anything. Other than the obvious difference between one movie being about surfing (the coolest possible thing in 1991) and one movie being about street racing (the coolest possible thing in 2001) the big difference is Diesel vs. Swayze.

Now at first thought you might think Diesel is way more awesome than Patrick Swayze but I'll invite you to look a little closer.

Height - 6 foot (really more like 5'10)
Best fight move - Creating an avalanche of snow and using it to destroy his opponents
Best Comedy Movie - The Pacifier (he babysits kids because of some FBI investigation or something)
Greatest Weakness - The second chin he developed for Fast 5
Awesomest Hair - Find Me Guilty
Greatest Singing Performance - Peter Panda
Real Name - Mark Sinclair Vincent

Height - 6 foot (really more like 5'10)
Best fight move - direct kick to the sternum
Best Comedy Movie - Father Hood (he babysits his own kids or something like that)
Greatest Weakness - Dirty Dancing
Awesomest Hair - Point Break
Greatest Singing Perfomance - She's Like the Wind
Real Name - Patrick Wayne Swayze

Its pretty close until you get to the singing performances and the hair. Swayze just straight up schools Diesel when it comes to song and when it comes to looking good. Swayze also schools Diesel when it comes to being the bad ass leader of a surf gang. Swayze leads with powerful charisma and hair, both of which Diesel sadly lacks. In the end the difference between Point Break and the Fast and the Furious is that Diesel acts tough while Swayze actually is tough. Sadly there never was a Point Break sequel we can at least take solace in the fact Fast Six will be out in 2013.

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