Dear Nurse Dave,
Does your knowledge of healthcare help out in picking a winner for the NCAA tournament? Also I lost my car keys. Where do you think they are?
Carl, New Haven, Connecticut
Carl I once saw a reconstruction surgery of a femur that had been broken. The surgeon ended up placing a thick metal rod through the femur to give it support. How did he get the rod in there? He took out a drill larger than anything I'd ever seen and drilled right into the head of the femur. The drill looked like a bizarrely large power tool that I'd use at home to drill gigantic holes into the dry wall. Later in the day this patient had to have woken up in a whole new world of pain. So I'd have to advise against picking any team with a star player that just broke his femur. He's not going to come back from that for a while. Also always pick a team if they have a player with the last name Laser. Unfortunately for the Eastern Illinois Panthers Tyler Laser is out for the season with a back injury that's probably why they didn't make the tournament. At least it isn't his femur.
(Tyler's head isn't tiny, its just a big hat. At least that's what I'm assuming.)
And about the keys. Pants pocket. They are always in a pocket. Check even the ones deep in your closet. You never know.