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Thursday, March 8, 2012

The Casual Man

Dear nurse Dave,

How can I incorporate more "n's" into my vocabulary? You know, like when people mean to say "and" but they also want to reassure you that they are off the clock?


Grayson, I think I know what you're really asking. You're asking, how do I become the Casual Man? The first thing you need to do is reevaluate your wardrobe. I'll first point you to the Dockers website. Those guys pretty much own casual Friday. Anything from Dockers will get you going where you want to be. Other casual clothes you should probably work into your rotation include - velour, corduroy, scarves, vests and of course velour. My velour tracksuit has never let me down.

The next step is the casual haircut. You need to look like you're not trying but even more than that you need to not be trying. So you could try the buzz cut, the floppy cut(in some circles known as the Hugh Grant) or the I sleep on the floor cut. I recently went from the Hugh Grant to the buzz cut. Both casual, both tasteful and both work well with Dockers kakis.

Also a casual man needs casual hobbies. Some to choose from - bocce ball, guitar (not the kind where you can play anything just the kind where you can only play one song and that song is "life is a highway"), reading magazines at a bookstore, talking about going hiking or finally of course modeling.

This all leads back to your original question involving casual speech. The clothes, haircut and hobbies should just lead you into casual speech. Casual speech includes dropping letters from words, intentionally using poor grammar and taking lots of long pauses. Also touch your face a lot when you speak. There is a casual element to face touching that you may be missing.

Grayson if you put that all together you will become the Casual Man and may soon find yourself in a Dockers ad without even knowing it.

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