So there's been a stockpile of questions building up and I'm going to pound out a few answers
Dear Nurse Dave,
Who would win in a fight between Rocky and Rambo?
Bruce, Asbury Park, NJ
Bruce the answer here is clearly Rambo. Has Rambo ever lost a fight? No. Has Rocky ever made it through a movie without losing either an emotional fight or real fight? No. Rocky entrusted all of his fortune to his moronic brother-in-law who naturally lost all of it. Would Rambo ever do something like that? Honestly I'm not sure I've never watched an entire Rambo but I'd like to think the answer is no. Rambo doesn't lose. He saves POWs. He hides in the woods and kills people or he gets a huge machine gun and kills people. Rocky has been a loser from the start that usually overcomes large odds to be a winner in the end while giving a few motivational speeches along the way. But you have to remember that he was a loser to start with.
Dear Nurse Dave,
I've been on two dates with a girl and its her birthday next week. What should I get her?
Carlton, Cincinnati, OH
Snow globe, Carlton. That is the answer every time. You have to go with a snow globe. If you don't want to buy one you could make one.
Dear Nurse Dave,
Please explain the show Happy Days to me.
Confused in Little Rock
I think I know where you're confused. Happy Days is a fictional television series set in the 1950s but it was actually filmed in the 1970s. The show wasn't simply a sitcom made in the 1950s it was a nostalgia filled look back at the 50's during the 70's. I'd compare it to That 70's Show being made in the 90's. Much of the humor in Happy days is based on the fact that everything involved a Malt shop in 50's and sadly the malt shop had fallen out of fashion by the 70's. Also something to keep in mind when trying to understand the show, the Fonz is supposed to be cool.
Dear Nurse Dave,
Is Little America really as awesome as all the billboards make it out to be?
Dwayne
Dwayne I think you're refering to that long stretch of I-80 in Wyoming with hundreds of billboards advertising for a hotel resort in the middle of nowhere. My answer is that they have 50 cent ice cream cones and that is pretty awesome. Go with the twist cone if you're going to get one. You need both chocolate and vanilla to really appreciate the experience. Also they have pretty nice bathrooms.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Jasmine Tea?
Dear Nurse Dave,
In your lastest post you pointed out that Chuck Norris was in a movie called Sidekicks. What you failed to mention was that Uncle Iroh was in that same movie. While I am willing to admit that Chuck Norris could beat Uncle Iroh in a fight, don't you think that Uncle Iroh's wisdom would allow him to outsmart Chuck Norris? Also can you please explain the health effects of jasmine tea?
Alan
Arlington, Va
Alan from what I understand you're asking me a question about a cartoon character facing off against Chuck Norris. What you may or may not have know is that during my last summer in nursing school I spent significant time watching Avatar (the cartoon that features Uncle Iroh). And you also may not know that Chuck Norris had a cartoon where he had to fight deadly dolphins. So I'd like to approach the question from the angle of the two cartoon characters facing off. Clearly if that was the case Uncle Iroh wouldn't even need wisdom to finish off Chuck. Uncle Iroh has the ability to firebend while Chuck has a tough time fighting dolphins (they weren't even sharks, they were dolphins Alan).
As for tea Alan I'd suggest you abstain from it. Sure the jasmine flower is sweet but don't fall for it. Tea contains caffiene (a diuretic and stimulant), oxalates which can contribute to kidney stones and tannic acid that is commonly used to tan hides. It also can cause bad breath and stain teeth. I don't care about the fact that tea is the second most popular beverage in the world because you know what the most popular one is? Water, and really Alan you should just stick with water it has everything your body really needs. (in my household water is the most popular beverage followed closely by Tang)
In your lastest post you pointed out that Chuck Norris was in a movie called Sidekicks. What you failed to mention was that Uncle Iroh was in that same movie. While I am willing to admit that Chuck Norris could beat Uncle Iroh in a fight, don't you think that Uncle Iroh's wisdom would allow him to outsmart Chuck Norris? Also can you please explain the health effects of jasmine tea?
Alan
Arlington, Va
Alan from what I understand you're asking me a question about a cartoon character facing off against Chuck Norris. What you may or may not have know is that during my last summer in nursing school I spent significant time watching Avatar (the cartoon that features Uncle Iroh). And you also may not know that Chuck Norris had a cartoon where he had to fight deadly dolphins. So I'd like to approach the question from the angle of the two cartoon characters facing off. Clearly if that was the case Uncle Iroh wouldn't even need wisdom to finish off Chuck. Uncle Iroh has the ability to firebend while Chuck has a tough time fighting dolphins (they weren't even sharks, they were dolphins Alan).
As for tea Alan I'd suggest you abstain from it. Sure the jasmine flower is sweet but don't fall for it. Tea contains caffiene (a diuretic and stimulant), oxalates which can contribute to kidney stones and tannic acid that is commonly used to tan hides. It also can cause bad breath and stain teeth. I don't care about the fact that tea is the second most popular beverage in the world because you know what the most popular one is? Water, and really Alan you should just stick with water it has everything your body really needs. (in my household water is the most popular beverage followed closely by Tang)
Friday, June 17, 2011
Eagle Attack
Hey Nurse Dave,
What are the chances a human being could survive such an attack?
Bill, Slinger, WI
Bill I think you'll find we covered some similar ground in the review of Fast Five. But in that post we discussed Paul Walker and Vin Diesel so I'm not sure that they actually fit into the category of human being (I'd place them in the superhuman category). So let's discuss human beings.
The first thing that came to my mind is this sign that can be seen as you begin your decent into the grand canyon.
The total distance of going from the top of the canyon to the bottom and back is about 12 miles and it is a difficult hike. But what I'm seeing here is that human beings don't have to be thrown down a cliff by an eagle to die they can simply die by gradually descending a nice trail down that same cliff face on a hot day.
The average human being isn't going to survive any of those wicked eagle attacks. The average human being, according to that sign, is going to be lucky to survive a 12 mile hike. Bill people die by missing a step coming off a curb, slipping on ice or trying to balance on one foot while washing the other foot in the shower. Could someone survive that fall? Sure, his name is Vin Diesel. But the average human being has trouble not getting injured while playing volleyball and he's certainly not going to survive the fall.
What are the chances a human being could survive such an attack?
Bill, Slinger, WI
Bill I think you'll find we covered some similar ground in the review of Fast Five. But in that post we discussed Paul Walker and Vin Diesel so I'm not sure that they actually fit into the category of human being (I'd place them in the superhuman category). So let's discuss human beings.
The first thing that came to my mind is this sign that can be seen as you begin your decent into the grand canyon.
The average human being isn't going to survive any of those wicked eagle attacks. The average human being, according to that sign, is going to be lucky to survive a 12 mile hike. Bill people die by missing a step coming off a curb, slipping on ice or trying to balance on one foot while washing the other foot in the shower. Could someone survive that fall? Sure, his name is Vin Diesel. But the average human being has trouble not getting injured while playing volleyball and he's certainly not going to survive the fall.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Chuck
Nurse Dave,
I was doing some scholarly research today on Chuck Norris. It was a amazing way to spend the afternoon. But I came across the fact that "Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes." What are your feelings on this claim?
Janina; Flagstaff, AZ
Sometimes it can be hard to sift through fact and fiction. For instance it sounds made up that a movie about giant robots from outer space that transform into 18 wheeler trucks has been a giant worldwide box office hit twice and soon to be three times. But Janina it is true. People are very interested in this concept and continue to be.
So first lets start with what we know about Chuck Norris to be actual fact. He has a beard. He's pretty good at martial arts. He once saved me from a crazed german guy in the Utah desert. He loves tight jeans (which are surprisingly associated with very conservative political views). He once played an imaginary friend to a kid with low confidence in a movie called Sidekicks. Finally he's the author of several western themed novels. So the guy is pretty amazing.
So is Chuck capable of amazing feats? Certainly but can he kick a horse and make the horses neck extend? Again certainly but in doing so he'd probably kill the horse. But Janina you've got to really look at the question you're asking. Does a giraffe even have a long neck? I challenge you to look a picture of a horse drinking water and a giraffe drinking water.
Which one looks more uncomfortable and seems to have inadequate neck length? You've got to sift through the fiction Janina and get at the facts.
I was doing some scholarly research today on Chuck Norris. It was a amazing way to spend the afternoon. But I came across the fact that "Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes." What are your feelings on this claim?
Janina; Flagstaff, AZ
Sometimes it can be hard to sift through fact and fiction. For instance it sounds made up that a movie about giant robots from outer space that transform into 18 wheeler trucks has been a giant worldwide box office hit twice and soon to be three times. But Janina it is true. People are very interested in this concept and continue to be.
So first lets start with what we know about Chuck Norris to be actual fact. He has a beard. He's pretty good at martial arts. He once saved me from a crazed german guy in the Utah desert. He loves tight jeans (which are surprisingly associated with very conservative political views). He once played an imaginary friend to a kid with low confidence in a movie called Sidekicks. Finally he's the author of several western themed novels. So the guy is pretty amazing.
So is Chuck capable of amazing feats? Certainly but can he kick a horse and make the horses neck extend? Again certainly but in doing so he'd probably kill the horse. But Janina you've got to really look at the question you're asking. Does a giraffe even have a long neck? I challenge you to look a picture of a horse drinking water and a giraffe drinking water.
Which one looks more uncomfortable and seems to have inadequate neck length? You've got to sift through the fiction Janina and get at the facts.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Worst thing?
Dear Nurse Dave,
What's the worse thing you've had to do as a nurse?
Jamichael, West Palm, FL
You're probably expecting me to say enema right? Well giving an enema really isn't that bad and it can actually be quite refreshing to a patient. You're probably also thinking about other things involving poo but usually as a nurse I'm not the one cleaning up. That would naturally lead to pee and catheters which can be gross but really putting a catheter in is saving me a lot of trouble as far as cleaning up pee goes. So where do we go from here? Bed baths? Isn't really my job. Weird wounds and sores? Can be gross but also can be very interesting. Angry patient? They usually don't get angry but sometimes their families do. Mean co-workers? Haven't had an issue but I've met some mean nurses that just don't understand that nursing is caring. 12 hour shifts? Sure it is a long day but it leads to having 4 days off. Dealing with the doctors? Most of them are actually pretty nice. Having to wear navy blue scrubs and having a terrible case of dandruff? Well yeah that probably hurts my professionalism but I don't feel too bad about it. Reading doctor's handwriting? That can be hard but it comes with the territory. Standing on my feet for 12 hours? Sure I'm looking for new shoes but at least the new ones don't have to be all white like my nursing school shoes. So I don't have any real complaints (except for cleaning poo it is gross)
What's the worse thing you've had to do as a nurse?
Jamichael, West Palm, FL
You're probably expecting me to say enema right? Well giving an enema really isn't that bad and it can actually be quite refreshing to a patient. You're probably also thinking about other things involving poo but usually as a nurse I'm not the one cleaning up. That would naturally lead to pee and catheters which can be gross but really putting a catheter in is saving me a lot of trouble as far as cleaning up pee goes. So where do we go from here? Bed baths? Isn't really my job. Weird wounds and sores? Can be gross but also can be very interesting. Angry patient? They usually don't get angry but sometimes their families do. Mean co-workers? Haven't had an issue but I've met some mean nurses that just don't understand that nursing is caring. 12 hour shifts? Sure it is a long day but it leads to having 4 days off. Dealing with the doctors? Most of them are actually pretty nice. Having to wear navy blue scrubs and having a terrible case of dandruff? Well yeah that probably hurts my professionalism but I don't feel too bad about it. Reading doctor's handwriting? That can be hard but it comes with the territory. Standing on my feet for 12 hours? Sure I'm looking for new shoes but at least the new ones don't have to be all white like my nursing school shoes. So I don't have any real complaints (except for cleaning poo it is gross)
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
M. Night Syndrome
Dear Nurse Dave,
Is there a medical equivalent to the career of M. Night Shyamalan?
Bradley, Tulsa, OK
Bradley I'm assuming you're refering to M. Night peaking with his first film and somehow steadily getting worse with each film until his last film was actually unwatchable. Frankly I've been impressed with the whole ride. Its been like a roller coaster where the first drop is amazing but then by the end you have a headache. For M. Night his rollercoaster began to get especially jerky with the movie where that guy only works out one side of his body.
Now it is easy to think of equivalents in sports (Penny Hardaway), music (the Strokes), television (I think that show Hero's had the M. Night thing happening but I never watched) and food (tortilla soup, it gets worse every time). But in the medical industry we actually have a name for this phenomenon it is called M. Night Syndrome.
An example of an M. Night Syndrome would be Gigantism. At first the kid is probably thinking, "hey this is cool, I'm getting bigger than everybody." But as time creeps on you're 8 feet tall, have back problems and end up starring in movies with Billy Crystal.
Also there is hyperthyroidism. At first you just have some unexplained weightloss and you're probably thinking, "hey this is cool, I'm losing weight without trying." But of course time creeps on you have no energy, have eyes jutting out of your skull, and you're feeling nervous all the time eventually becoming low energy nervouswreck.
Other disorders are being looked into and many others can fall under the umbrella of M. Night Syndrome. Right now we just have to raise awareness and study M. Night's films in hopes of finding a cure. Also I heard they're planning a 5K in downtown Philadelphia.
Is there a medical equivalent to the career of M. Night Shyamalan?
Bradley, Tulsa, OK
Bradley I'm assuming you're refering to M. Night peaking with his first film and somehow steadily getting worse with each film until his last film was actually unwatchable. Frankly I've been impressed with the whole ride. Its been like a roller coaster where the first drop is amazing but then by the end you have a headache. For M. Night his rollercoaster began to get especially jerky with the movie where that guy only works out one side of his body.
Now it is easy to think of equivalents in sports (Penny Hardaway), music (the Strokes), television (I think that show Hero's had the M. Night thing happening but I never watched) and food (tortilla soup, it gets worse every time). But in the medical industry we actually have a name for this phenomenon it is called M. Night Syndrome.
An example of an M. Night Syndrome would be Gigantism. At first the kid is probably thinking, "hey this is cool, I'm getting bigger than everybody." But as time creeps on you're 8 feet tall, have back problems and end up starring in movies with Billy Crystal.
Also there is hyperthyroidism. At first you just have some unexplained weightloss and you're probably thinking, "hey this is cool, I'm losing weight without trying." But of course time creeps on you have no energy, have eyes jutting out of your skull, and you're feeling nervous all the time eventually becoming low energy nervouswreck.
Other disorders are being looked into and many others can fall under the umbrella of M. Night Syndrome. Right now we just have to raise awareness and study M. Night's films in hopes of finding a cure. Also I heard they're planning a 5K in downtown Philadelphia.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Nickleback
(Editor's Note: The question today involves a powerful song by Nickleback and rather than provide the whole of the lyrics I will just answer some of the questions that Chad asks through his song. Grayson sent the lyrics to me and asked for my thoughts. Thanks Grayson just watching the video has already changed my life.)
1) If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late could you say goodbye to yesterday?
My answer is probably.
2)Would you live each moment like your last, leave old pictures in the past?
I'm pretty chubby in a lot of old pictures so I guess I'd leave them in the past but I was a pretty cute chubby kid so maybe I wouldn't leave it in the past. But yes I'd live each moment like it was my last.
That's me being chubby
3)Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
I'm actually still carrying a lot of debt from a failed attempt at law school. My net worth right now is in the red. So I can't really help you out there.
4)What if, what if, if today was your last day?
I'd go sky diving, rocky mountain climbing and riding a bull named fu man chu (Ideas courtesy of Tim McGraw.)
5)And would you call those friends you never see?
Some of those guys are pretty hard to get a hold of.
6)Reminisce old memories?
Maybe a little but I'd probably be busy sky diving.
7)Would you forgive your enemies?
I never really had an enemy but there was this tall guy who was interested in dating this girl that I was also interested in dating. Once when I walked past him with the girl he shouted out, "No chance little man!" I hope he's found something better to do with his time now.
8)And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Recently my dreams have involved buying a projector to watch movies on a wall in my house. But really why would I do that on my last day.
9) Swear up and down to God above that you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?
Already did that one. I'd recommend it to anyone.
10) If today was your last day would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
Well the thing is I already do that a lot. Almost everyday I've mended some kind of broken heart so sure I'd fit it in to my last day as well.
And finally also some lyrics from the song that I've actually painted on the ceiling above my bed with glow in the dark paint so I can be inspired as I fall asleep.
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side
1) If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late could you say goodbye to yesterday?
My answer is probably.
2)Would you live each moment like your last, leave old pictures in the past?
I'm pretty chubby in a lot of old pictures so I guess I'd leave them in the past but I was a pretty cute chubby kid so maybe I wouldn't leave it in the past. But yes I'd live each moment like it was my last.
3)Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
I'm actually still carrying a lot of debt from a failed attempt at law school. My net worth right now is in the red. So I can't really help you out there.
4)What if, what if, if today was your last day?
I'd go sky diving, rocky mountain climbing and riding a bull named fu man chu (Ideas courtesy of Tim McGraw.)
5)And would you call those friends you never see?
Some of those guys are pretty hard to get a hold of.
6)Reminisce old memories?
Maybe a little but I'd probably be busy sky diving.
7)Would you forgive your enemies?
I never really had an enemy but there was this tall guy who was interested in dating this girl that I was also interested in dating. Once when I walked past him with the girl he shouted out, "No chance little man!" I hope he's found something better to do with his time now.
8)And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Recently my dreams have involved buying a projector to watch movies on a wall in my house. But really why would I do that on my last day.
9) Swear up and down to God above that you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?
Already did that one. I'd recommend it to anyone.
10) If today was your last day would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
Well the thing is I already do that a lot. Almost everyday I've mended some kind of broken heart so sure I'd fit it in to my last day as well.
And finally also some lyrics from the song that I've actually painted on the ceiling above my bed with glow in the dark paint so I can be inspired as I fall asleep.
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Canadians
Dear Nurse Dave:
What are your thoughts on Canadians? And the use of "$" in Ke$ha's name?
Best,
Amy (Dearborn, MI)
I think I speak for all Americans when I say I have very few thoughts on Canadians but I've heard they get upset when you use the term American to exclude Canadians. They claim to also be American. Their claims stem from being a part of the North American continent but so is Greenland and they certainly don't claim to be American. Greenland doesn't really claim anything not even Bjork, she's from Iceland.
Some thoughts I've had on Canadians include: socialized health care, pronouncing "about" as "aboot", beer, niagra falls, ice hockey, frenchcanadian, canada dry ginger ale, that John Candy movie Canadian Bacon, Neil Young and why is Arcade fire considered a canadian band if they are really from Texas? In general Canada feels like a person you meet once and the person seems friendly enough but you just don't really care if you speak to them again. In fact that person makes you feel a little uncomfortable due to a strange way of saying "about" and the fact that he/she really really likes ice hockey.
As for Ke$ha. I just want to say thank you. Thank you to Ke$ha for showing me that putting a $ in your name can be socially acceptable not only acceptable but in fact celebrated. In fact I'm now in favor of putting symbols in names in general, as well as intentional mispelling of names and a huge fan of mixing animal names with money terms (Chamillionare, Cashmonkey, Dolladuck and Nickleback). How are we going to know how far we can take it until we go there? There have to be pioneers like Ke$ha to push the envelope and then maybe we'll finally be ready for this.
What are your thoughts on Canadians? And the use of "$" in Ke$ha's name?
Best,
Amy (Dearborn, MI)
I think I speak for all Americans when I say I have very few thoughts on Canadians but I've heard they get upset when you use the term American to exclude Canadians. They claim to also be American. Their claims stem from being a part of the North American continent but so is Greenland and they certainly don't claim to be American. Greenland doesn't really claim anything not even Bjork, she's from Iceland.
Some thoughts I've had on Canadians include: socialized health care, pronouncing "about" as "aboot", beer, niagra falls, ice hockey, frenchcanadian, canada dry ginger ale, that John Candy movie Canadian Bacon, Neil Young and why is Arcade fire considered a canadian band if they are really from Texas? In general Canada feels like a person you meet once and the person seems friendly enough but you just don't really care if you speak to them again. In fact that person makes you feel a little uncomfortable due to a strange way of saying "about" and the fact that he/she really really likes ice hockey.
As for Ke$ha. I just want to say thank you. Thank you to Ke$ha for showing me that putting a $ in your name can be socially acceptable not only acceptable but in fact celebrated. In fact I'm now in favor of putting symbols in names in general, as well as intentional mispelling of names and a huge fan of mixing animal names with money terms (Chamillionare, Cashmonkey, Dolladuck and Nickleback). How are we going to know how far we can take it until we go there? There have to be pioneers like Ke$ha to push the envelope and then maybe we'll finally be ready for this.
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