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Thursday, February 2, 2012

State Rankings

Dear Nurse Dave,
Can you rank in order the states that you lived in and give a reason for the ranking? I'm thinking of moving.
Barry, Cincinnati, OH

Forget that I'm going 1 to 50 here Barry. I've been to almost all of these states so I'd consider myself an expert. Sorry Barry but Ohio isn't very high on the list. First you have to know that mountains > beach. Secondly it hurts me to rank California so high but I have no choice. It is a fantastic state. Finally I could probably be convinced to change the ranking of almost any of these states, really its a honor just to be on the list.

1. Arizona - The most sunshine and the most saguaro cactus.
2. Utah - I once ran out of gas at squaw peak just outside Provo, UT. The view was amazing.
3. Colorado - I once got stuck on a rollercoaster in Denver in a near vertical position for about 45 minutes. Even that didn't ruin colorado.
4. California - Ignore the part where guys there call everyone "bro" and then you've probably got the best state in the union.
5. New Mexico - Val Kilmer lives here.
6. Virginia - One time I went on a run from my house to the Lincoln memorial.
7. Washington - I love apples.
8. New York - New York City is overrated but the rest of the state is probably underrated.
9 Wyoming - I've been to Yellowstone.
10 North Carolina - I've just got a good feeling about this place. I don't know why.
11 Massachusetts - A very difficult state to spell.
12 Louisiana - When we visit my relatives there is usually some kind of fish fry that happens where we fry everything. That is awesome.
13 Montana - Just watch Lonesome Dove and you'll understand. Plus don't worry about reading Lonesome Dove. The miniseries is better.
14 Tennessee - I like this song.
15/16 Vermont/New Hampshire - I'm not sure what the difference between these states is but I like both of them.
17 Oregon - There's some kind of attitude there that I'm not sure I like but I think they filmed the goonies there.
18 Alaska - Never been there but I've heard bizarre stories of moose blood flowing through the streets during the spring thaw.
19 Hawaii - Beautiful but hard to reach.
20 Wisconsin - I've heard good things about the custard there.
21 Illinois - People really like Chicago. I like the burger place in Phoenix run by a guy from Chicago. Also I really don't like the band Chicago.
22 Minnesota - All those lakes have to be pretty cool.
23 Idaho - If I was interested in farming I think it would be potato farming.
24 Maine - Beautiful in the summer from what I understand.
25 South Carolina - Sorry to have you so far below North Carolina. It probably isn't the first time.
26 Pennsylvania - Should this state be higher? Probably not.
27 Maryland - I just don't like the traffic in this entire state.
28 Connecticut - I forgot about this one.
29 Nebraska - If you've got to go midwest why not here?
30 Texas - People in Texas really love Texas. That enthusiasm alone should help. And it does. That's how it made the top 30.
31 Rhode Island - One of the original 13.
32 Florida - I saw an alligator here.
33 Michigan - Check out these sand dunes.
34 South Dakota - Mount Rushmore seems like a cry for attention.
35 Kentucky - We can thank Kentucky for one of Neil's greatest songs.
36 Georgia - They make Coke here.
37 Kansas - You made the top 40 Kansas!
38 Missouri - This state should be much higher on the list thanks to Branson alone. But due to the fact that I had three years of education in the Kansas school system I am obligated to rank Missouri lower than Kansas. Its what they teach in Kansas.
39 New Jersey - Really good pizza.
40 Alabama - I was born here.
41 Iowa - Just found out the Corn Palace isn't in Iowa. Iowa dropped pretty far down the list for that.
42 West Virginia - Thanks for all the hard work West Virginia and staying with the Union for the Civil War was a bold choice.
43 Ohio - Still am upset about that speeding ticket I got here.
44 North Dakota - One of the two states I've never been to.
45 Indiana - Just watched Hoosiers.
46 Arkansas - I once knew a girl from here. We stayed at her house and I slept in a waterbed there.
47 Oklahoma - I saw the Flaming Lips on New Years Eve in Oklahoma City. It was somewhat disturbing but the City was nice.
48 Delaware - I'm not sure what happens in Delaware other than a lot of Dunkin Donuts being consumed.
49 Mississippi - You're not last Mississsippi!
50 Nevada - Sorry Nevada. The whole state just makes me feel uncomfortable.

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