$20,142,728.00

Dear Nurse Dave,
I am Mrs.Shirley Jones,i need your help to transfer 20,142,728.00 Million Dollars I inherited from my husband for more information, Please reply to me at mrs.shirley.jones@rogers.com

Sincerely,
Mrs. Shirley Jones

Sounds like you're in a bit of pickle Shirley.  What can I do for you?  Do you need a bank account number or perhaps a credit card number?  I have both of those.  Do you need a place to stay while you're waiting for the money?  I've got a van you could sleep in.  Just send me another email with the specifics and I'm in.  Seriously I'm totally in.

Or Shirley are you looking for ideas as to how to spend the money?  I've got those as well.

1. Pay off my student loans.
2. Buy me some of these sandals.
3. Waterbeds
4. an internet publishing company
5. maybe some kind of Willy Wonka Candy Land thing (chocolate rivers are radical).
6. An awesome cave slide like the one from Goonies
7. Pay me to write a script for Waterworld 2
8. a helicopter to avoid traffic
9. Maybe a interesting pet
10. Bathtub full of M&Ms or maybe even a swimming pool
11. One of those Duck vehicles that can drive on land and be a boat
12. Start a museum (about whatever you're interested in, mine would probably be a candy museum wouldn't that be cool?)
13. Rocket Skates
14. Make an outdoor sculpture

There's plenty more ideas.  Just let me know Shirley.  We can do this together.

Skegness

Dear nurse Dave,

My friend just returned from Birmingham and she said Skegness was great so my question is, is there a cure for lying, and if so when are you going to stop being such a liar?

Love,
grayson weeks
Utah

Grayson you are probably referring to my well known anti-Skegness stance ever since the 6 months I spent there.  First I'm going to point you to the Skegness tourism site.  Take a minute and explore around a little bit.  Maybe click on the things to do tab.  You'll notice a link for Nature Land. I didn't know penguins could cry until I went there.  

Maybe you can click on the shopping link.  The first thing to come up there?  Inkantations, a local tattoo shop that literally asks, "Looking for a new tattoo during your stay in Skegness? Why not pay a visit to Inkantations?"  Next up Skegness Mobility followed closely by Mr Big Stuff, "Supplying big and tall outsize clothing and large clothing for men in the Lincolnshire area."  Then of course Mooch Perfect Gifts, "Mooch Gift Shop offers a wide range of quality goods to suit every age and budget, whether your male or female there will be something I'm sure you will like."  Well I'm male so I'm pretty sure they'll have something for me.  No other shops are listed.  That's it.

Maybe you're looking for a place to stay.  Look no further than the caravan section of the site.  Don't worry grayson there are plenty of trailers actually for sale as well.  And remember if you're looking for some kind of mobility device to help you get from your trailer to town there is always Skegness Mobility.   

Really I think it is summed up by the classic advertising slogan, "Skegness is SO bracing."  That is the slogan for the city and I think it fits perfectly.  Everyday I lived there I woke up braced for disappointment and I was disappointed.  But Grayson even though I don't love Skegness I learned a lot from it.  I learned that buying a bread bowl to put a can of chili in can sometimes be the best part of a day.  I learned that sometimes having a terribly sprained ankle isn't a bad thing.  I learned that it is possible to knock on every door in a town.  I learned that seeing a KFC can sometimes feel like coming home.  I learned that it is possible for a bird to poop on you as it flies by.  I learned that if you put on enough weight anyone can look like a Far Side character.  I learned that they don't let adults do the donkey beach rides.  Really I learned to be braced for the rest of life.  So thank you Skegness.  I'm braced.