ask Dave a question and he'll answer
send questions to asknursedave@gmail.com

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Face off with Con Air

Dear Nurse Dave,


Which of these two Nicholas Cage movies is better: Face/Off or Con Air? Please explain your answer.


Spencer, Chicago, Illinois


First of all Spence its probably good that you limited the discussion to only two of his films.  If we had to start looking into Bangkok dangerous, Season of the Witch or Wicker Man we'd have a discussion on our hands that couldn't be limited to one blog post (or even one lifetime).  


So lets take a closer look at these two films.  


Supporting Casts
  
Face/Off you pretty much just have Travolta, who is of course awesome but I've never been that into his work since he left behind the Look Who's Talking series.  I felt like there were still a few good ideas in that series and that Travolta left it a little too soon (for example maybe after the pets started talking the furniture could start talking like in Beauty and the Beast.  Recently I saw an elementary school production of Beauty and the Beast the kids did awesome except for the kid that played the candle sticks.  He kept using a different accent everytime he spoke.  The candle stick is french, there is no place for an English accent).


Con Air gives you Malkovich, Buscemi, Ving Rhames, Dave Chappelle, John Cusack, DannyTrejo it just doesn't stop.


Winner - Con Air


Nick's Hair


Face/Off - Nick just gives you a pretty standard buzzcut sort of thing.  It actually looks pretty good.


Con Air - This is probably Nick's hair's greatest performance.  


Winner - Con Air


Nick's Character's Name


Face/Off - Castor Troy


Con Air - Cameron Poe


Winner - Tie (these are pretty much the exact same badass 1990's name, I'm afraid of both guys)


Less Believable Plot


Face/Off - Nick and John trade faces and lives then fight each other.  


Con Air - Nick is just trying to get home.  He finally got paroled but man did he get on the wrong plane.  You never should get on a plane with Malkovich.  Never.


Winner - Face/Off.  I can believe Nick's hair in Con Air well before I can believe trading faces with Travolta.


Most Awesome Action Scene


Face/Off - I'm pretty sure they do some slow motion shooting at each other.


Con Air - They don't have enough fuel to get to the Vegas airport so they crash the plane right on the Vegas strip.  It is awesome and just when you think the movie is finally over.  It isn't.  Here's the scene for your viewing pleasure.  





Winner - Con Air


So its pretty clear here Spence.  While Face/Off does feature some Oscar caliber performances it just doesn't match up with Con Air.  Con Air has better hair, better action and a better supporting cast.  So if you had to go to a desert island with just one of these two movies its gotta be Con Air.  

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Personal Lawyer

Dear Nurse Dave,

Do you have a lawyer? Like your own personal lawyer?

Steel
Madison, WI


My personal lawyer practices law in the state of Nevada and has a long flowing ponytail.  He practices in Nevada for a wide variety of legal reasons (evictions are his speciality) and he wears his hair long for a number of other reasons (the guy owns a flying v guitar). 


My lawyer advises me that ponytails are a prerquisite for awesome lawyering (a side career in hip-hop can also be helpful).


I for one only take legal advice from men that have ponytails and have serious musical talent.