Chickens

Dear Nurse Dave,
Should I get chickens?  Lots of people are getting chickens right now and I don't want to be left behind.
Paulina, Las Vegas, NM

Chickens are always a good idea.  Free range them in your backyard.  Get a chicken coop.  Let them into your house.  Have one sleep in your bed.  I don't care where you put them but you need to get some.  These are low maintenance barnyard animals that produce a valuable commodity, eggs!  You can literally feed chickens garbage and then gold comes out in egg form.  You can use the eggs to start a business, you can use them in frittatas, you can make a quiche (pronounced keesh), an omelet, fried eggs, scrambled eggs the list goes on and on.  You know what flan is made out of?  Eggs.  You know what makes custard better than ice cream?  Eggs.  You know what makes my cookies taste so good? Eggs.

Come on Paulina, I'm not sure what your problem is.  Get some chickens.  Seriously.  I know a guy that makes coops you just give me the word and he'll get going.  I know a guy that hatches rare breeds of chickens in his garage.  Just let me know and some chicks are on their way.  There's nothing that's stopping you Paulina.  Let's do this.  I know two young boys that sell eggs door to door.  You don't have to buy from them Paulina.  You can get your own eggs.  Own this Paulina.  You know the problem and you know the solution.